Gemmill

Mackem at work was telling me yesterday that he'll be "doing his best to get Beale sacked" today. Nice to go to the match with a plan.

I'm saying that I think battling for a European spot is an appropriate level of expectation for us atm. £400m is nowt in the grand scheme of things - it's absolutely not enough to make you a fixture in the top 4 or a regular smasher of teams like PSG. If we end the season as poorly as we've played recently, it'll be an anticlimax. If we go on an absolute tear and finish top 5, it'll be class. I'm basically saying there's still something to play for. Losing today wouldn't end our season.

Badenoch's tinder bio.

There's still 17 league matches to play and we're 3 points off a European spot. This time two seasons ago, we still looked a good bet for relegation. You would have killed for our current position as recently as that. Last season has completely mangled expectations.

The front page of today's Daily Star is a picture of Klopp with the headline "Fangs for the Memories", and there's a cut out and keep Jurgen Klopp smile inside.

Imagine how desperate you must be for paid work to take that gig. You know you're gonna get rinsed by pretty much everyone but you can't say no.

You mean you missed them playing the Tory Party conference, the absolute bellends?

How are you at getting jokes, would you say?

She seemed fine on the Uncloaked show. They're still pals. But aye while it was going down, I was saying to my lass that she's gonna have PTSD.

I've got Uncloaked on now.

That didn't even occur to me. I'd have been as flummoxed as her.

Unreal telly, the Traitors.

Whatever, Van Morrison.

Oof, I'm sorry to have to report that they all look the same to PaddockLad!

VAR's back and chatting shit again. Bobb offside by maybe 2 inches. A goal in any decade prior to this one.

Udogie's a full back isn't he?

Targett can't be on £100k a week surely. That dopey smile must be absolutely irresistible in a negotiation setting.

I'd have no issues with Hojbjerg on loan. Just in case anyone at the club needed my approval.

The better the player we have, the more of this is gonna go on, so people better get used to it. Good players know their worth and they make you pay for it, and they'll run the negotiations down to the wire to get what they want. The other side of this is that we'll no longer be handing ridiculous contracts to players that are doing nothing but stinking up the squad. No more pictures of some can't believe their luck no-hoper with a pen in their hand and a wtf grin on their face.

Ah fuck, sorry to hear this mate. Hope you can find something new sharpish. Absolute bullshit that a genuine skill of being multilingual has been banjaxed by technology.

As far as criminals targeting my family, it's not what any of them want to hear but I'm afraid my strict policy is that I don't negotiate with terrorists.

The thing to do is don't tell anyone and don't make any changes to your lifestyle. Stay in your job, maybe upgrade your cutlery and a couple of your power tools. But otherwise keep it entirely on the DL.

Anyone on RTG suggested they should make a play for him to replace Beale yet?

I hope they blow the title on the last day of the season. Try and see him do his farewell three pump salute to the fans in those circumstances.