Gemmill

It's the best thing to happen in this thread this decade.

She must be shite at it!

My car insurance barely went up either. Certain professions are considered lower risk by actuaries. ewerk, you should have stuck those exams out.

You lads must be living in mansions. Last year mine was £272, and they quoted me £457 to renew - scandalous. So they got fucked off and I'm paying £303 elsewhere.

Watching the BBC report on a memorial being set up in Normandy. Meanwhile these stupid little cunts are firing missiles backwards and forwards and we all just have to sit and take it.

Two hikers are out in the forest when they come across what appears to be a small sinkhole. They're standing looking down it but it must be pretty deep cos they can't even see the bottom. One of the blokes says "here, I'll get to the bottom of this" and he goes and picks up this chunky rock, carries it over, and drops it down the sinkhole. They stand listening for it to hit the bottom, but as they're stood there, out of nowhere something comes flying through the bushes, absolutely pegging it, bursts between the two of them, and dives down into the sinkhole. The blokes look at each other in stunned silence with wtf looks on their faces. "Wtf was that?!" "I don't know. Some sort of animal, I think but it was moving so fast." While they're stood discussing it, a bloke comes out of the bushes and says "Here lads, have either of you seen a goat wandering about?" "A goat? Nah I don't think so." "Nah mate, haven't seen any goats." "It's weird as fuck. He can't have got far, I tied him to a big rock... "

This wonky faced creep.

Must be brutal working your way through reality shows to keep the money ticking over. Although tbf it's probably better than my job. I assume Shaznay trousered all the All Saints cash cos she was the main songwriter I think.

You'd like a loan secured on this rapidly depreciating asset, sir? How about fucking no.

Did you watch that race around the world thing? Melanie Blatt has aged like you'd expect someone with that surname to age.

Thread. He sounds a proper dafty.

You've been on ignore since 2015.

🚨🚨🚨EUROPE IN PERIL KLAXON🚨🚨🚨 Man City winning the cup simplifies things a canny bit.

Aye it's the nature of knockout football ffs. Trying to make a story out of nothing.

On the plus side, you'd think Man United will get the backlash this weekend, and Man City should go on and ruin Klopp's farewell party in the league too.

They managed it in 45 minutes in the CL Final. It's not out of the question that they turn it around at all.

She's just a global embarrassment. No one sane in her party wants anything to do with her, she bores the fuck out of the yanks. She's uniquely ill equipped for what she's actually trying to do. I guess we just all enjoy the endless tailspin.

She reckons the dog had fleas. So that bit is real, but someone did a version where it was Johnson and Carrie that had fleas.

Willock is out for the rest of the season. They want to rest his achilles. Makes sense tbf, he keeps breaking down every time he comes back.

So she shit herself and didn't realise whilst sober?!

We've got a caller, Alex. Alex, can you tell us about your experience of Steve as Newcastle manager? Next up, we've got Jan.

Yep, looking forward to the next episode. The players will love Southgate but he seems very limited and hasn't exactly set the world alight in previous club jobs. Done well with England but with an absolutely incredible squad of players with whom he has limited touch points. Nevertheless! Brailsford knows best.

Enjoyed Ten Hag having to tell Garnacho off for liking social media posts slagging the manager off for his treatment of the player. That bloke is on borrowed time there unfortunately.

Aye, if I click your link and select YouTube Music, which I do have a subscription to, it plays straight away through the YouTube music app.