Gemmill

I mean it was clearly a fucking joke, Inspector O'Clouseau.

Yep, who'd be a baldy eh?! Not me that's for sure!

Fair play to Rayner for calling Sunak a "pint-sized loser" at PMQs.

Dowden is SHITE.

He looks perfect for them. He'll end up there, I'm sure. He's up for it, they'll just have to make it worth Feyenoord's while to lose him. I hope he's a big, arrogant, hopeless shithouse.

I had a motherfucking MRI last month, bitch! And I'm still going. All of the warnings everywhere about if you have ANY metal things in your body etc. There was a 1 in 1,000 chance that something went wrong cos of the PM. I wouldn't be surprised if it DID go wrong and I'm still here.

I had my Pacemaker replaced a couple of years back as it happens. Last one lasted about 9 years (off a 5 year battery) and this one has a 15 year battery, so I won't be going ANYWHERE!

Aye if we get a good summer, you'll feel it (yer bastard!). Get your guitar back out while the weather's shit.

How's retirement treating you, TP? I bumped into a bloke I used to work with recently and he looked younger and healthier than he did the last time I saw him (about 7 years ago). Anyway, I hope it's working out. 👍

Boris Johnson missed an opportunity there.

Spurs can't defend though. Ange's answer to that was to buy a fast bloke, only to discover that, per Rio Ferdinand, he's actually TOO FAST for his own feet.

We'd be trouncing all-comers in the Conference League. I expect Man United to get humbled by their neighbours in the FA Cup Final though.

Posted mine and the wife's local election postal votes this morning. I never normally bother with local elections, so hopefully there's people like me all over the country voting just purely out of spite and to make things extra uncomfortable for Sunak next Friday. I know results locally are Labour whatever happens, but I'm doing my bit for turnout. Others elsewhere can do their bit to boot Tories out.

Booked the day off today. Entirely coincidental.

I think he's been found out. You can play that high line in the SPL because of the relative quality of Celtic vs the rest of the league. You just can't do it in a stronger league - even Man City would lose too many games to win the league if he tried it with their squad. Looked mint when he first turned up, and he was a breath of fresh air in terms of interviews etc. But I think they're in for a much tougher season next time out. Which is great news for us.

The article claims that £2m is what we paid Brighton, and that the £4m reported at the time was wrong. Either way, the position is clear. If you want him early Jim, you pay what we want, not what you think.

They're offering £2m. We want £15m plus £5m in add-ons. Ratcliffe and Staveley have met personally to continue negotiations, which I'm sure went great.

Toonpack clicking into the middle of a pun run is like a kid running into Santa's grotto.

Arne Slot the frontrunner for the Liverpool job apparently. Fucking PLEASE let this cunt be another Ten Hag.

Tell me he's not thick as fuck btw. When Micah Richards is getting frustrated trying to explain something to you, you're at rock bottom.

What's the word on their dumps? The cats, not the kids.

There seems to be a canny bit of disillusionment with Postecoglou. I'm not surprised mind, his team has one comically risky way to play, and if it doesn't work and they get pumped, he thinks it's perfectly OK to just go "Aw look mate, we gave it a crack." And then put them out the exact same way for the next game.

I know this is tired old tropes, but my dog's shit turns white if it's left out for 24 hours, so white dog shit is still alive and well. My theory is that the quality of dog food was better in the old days. He eats raw meat patties with sweet potato and pumpkin seeds in them - he genuinely has better teas than me some day - and I reckon that's giving him high quality 80s dumps.