Gemmill

No I didn't mean that man. I was just wondering cos you turned up full of hell.

Sophie, where did you get linked to this place from? Just out of interest. As for you, Renton, it's shameful that I go away for 5 minutes and come back to find you flinging the gay insults round like you do poo on your scat weekends.

Face to face, aye. Cock to cock, no. 123144[/snapback] Cheek to cheek tbh.

Muted and neutered tbh.

His lass won't let him no doubt.

Renton is a bent one

Haven't seen any congratulations to Fred yet for yesterday and the recent good run ! And for being the 5th most successful club in the premiership in the last decade too... [3 games from going clear in 5th place] Shame Gol, or you, or most of the rest of your mates, can't answer the questions, using your understanding and knowledge of the football club 122893[/snapback] Congratulations Shepherd for not getting rid of Souness earlier. The good run could have been a good season if Shepherd hadnt of cocked up and kept Souness on instead of getting rid in the summer. I cant believe you of all people would say otherwise 122918[/snapback] I think you'll find that it's MY fault Souness was kept on so long actually. Shepherd's in the clear on that one too.

Cotton carrier bags all the way. Proper eco-warrior, me. 123076[/snapback] On a completely random note I was looking at biodegradable coffins in a funeral directors called "Go as you please" yesterday. Wish I'd thought of that business - over three grand for a burial at sea! 123079[/snapback] That's exactly how I picture Renton spending his weekends. Window shopping in funeral parlours, saying to his wife "we all go one day pet, best to be prepared" 123081[/snapback] As he never smiles he'd make the perfect undertaker. 123085[/snapback] The name caught my eye as I walked down Whitley road actually. Have a peek - some interesting coffins including NUFC ones. Keep taking the piss and you'll be needing one. 123088[/snapback] An NUFC coffin has to be the ultimate Soopafan accessory.

I don't eat canned stuff man, I'm far too healthy for that! Do they have Lidls en France too? Whereabouts do you live over there anyway?

scurvy. 123080[/snapback] You're just jeal cos you have to shop in French supermarchayyyys.

Cotton carrier bags all the way. Proper eco-warrior, me. 123076[/snapback] On a completely random note I was looking at biodegradable coffins in a funeral directors called "Go as you please" yesterday. Wish I'd thought of that business - over three grand for a burial at sea! 123079[/snapback] That's exactly how I picture Renton spending his weekends. Window shopping in funeral parlours, saying to his wife "we all go one day pet, best to be prepared"

I'm definitely giving Lidl a go like. |Might even go tonight. Any recommendations on what's nice?

I get the impression you're really trying with these, Sophie.

These places charge 5p for carrier bags. Is anyone on here gonna admit to being the ultimate gyppo and taking their own carriers in with them?

Haway Sophie, get one submitted. Your beer one was canny.

Vito and who? I can't think who it'll be.

None of that even rhymes!

I preferred the Golden Oldies Swimming Day. You must be a wow at parties though.

I bet the people that send these poems in think similar tbh.

Fancy hats and fancy cakes.

The results from the taken X-rays forever did they take When the doctor finally spoke I'd got a collarbone break. Getting the rhymes in with a shoe-horn.

"The tab nurse". Is that a medical accreditation?

Here's one called "No thanks, I don't smoke" While writing this poem, My breathing sounds wheezy, The stuff I cough up, Makes me feel rather queasy. It has to be done For the sake of my health For the people around me And also my wealth Each ciggie I lit made my chest even worse So I made an appointment to see the tab nurse Inhaler and patches and leaflets to read To avoid the Grim Reaper I must ditch the weed I once tried cold turkey But that didn't work After only six days I was going berserk! Two weeks without smoking Nicorettes brought relief But so has the thought Of no more ginger teeth! A healthy white smile With a fresh breath to match I will keep it up With willpower and a patch

http://icnewcastle.icnetwork.co.uk/eveningchronicle/poems/ Poet Laureate nominees to a man. Ally, if you've got "exam stress" I don't even want to hear about it.

That's no more than a collection of completely unrelated sentences. No wonder they wanted to remain anon.