Gemmill

If you're pissing out of the toilet when you're having a shit, stop getting a stiffy when the poo comes out would be my advice.

In response to a question from a member of the public, "that's not what members of the public ask me on the street". This fucking helmet.

Hope is saying he'll be back by the end of the season and making a late push for the Euros squad.

Probably matches your shirt.

Your left foot is gangrenous.

Wilcox and Ashworth are to work together. I hope they're the new Truss and Kwarteng.

City Takeaway.

Mad how much control Brailsford seems to have over all this. Seems a pretty big risk given the size of the club relative to his football experience.

Wonder what this means for Ashworth, or was he meant to sit above Wilcox.

Do they want Wilcox as well as Ashworth, or is this an attempt at scaring us into buckling? Am I right in thinking the whole Ashworth thing has gone quiet or have I missed a deal being announced?

Off to see Pesky Paul tomorrow.

Scream for Pizza would like a word.

Well this "title shootout" is dogshit.

Congratulations old man. I can't fucking wait to knock it all on the head myself.

Thanks lads. I didn't realise he needed a prop to celebrate a goal, the fucking bellend.

Howe got booked for the way he celebrated the winner. How is Arteta EVER allowed in the dugout if what Howe did was worthy of a booking ffs.

Great ball from Isak for Barnes's first btw.

What was Kudus saying to the ballboy after he scored their second btw. Weird. Paqueta pulled him away.

Brentford 31 shots on goal man. Brentford had 81 touches in their box. This lot are due an absolute hammering off someone.

MOTD put the D Team out for this one, but even then ewerk manages to come up with the WORST analysis of them all.

I've only just woken up lads. Fucking clocks have stolen an hour from me.

Two really good finishes today. The second one was an absolute belter. Looking forward to MOTD in the morning.

Brentford just equalised. VAR will need to have a good hard look at this.

There it is.