Gemmill

Get some cheese squares and pickled onions and the dog would make an interesting talking point at a dinner party.

http://football.guardian.co.uk/News_Story/0,,1817549,00.html Jesus Wept tbh. No way is he THAT good!?

Awww, the poor bugger.

That girl is a P-I-G, Piiiig!

I think he fancies her. 158410[/snapback] Think he's a fan of the old watersports 158412[/snapback] He's the scatman. Beee-ba-ba-bada-bo!

Aye, preggers isn't she? You'll have to occupy yourself by arguing with auto-posting computer programmes.

I sat on the metro once and there was this gang of charvs sat in a four-ser ("FOUR-SER!" was the cry they let out as they got on the metro ). Anyway there was a bloke in his 50s sat with his back to them and one of the lasses in the group kept pulling bits of chewy out of her mouth and dropping them into this bloke's hair without him noticing. She must have dropped a canny bit in when he caught a glimpse of her reflection in the tunnel. He put his hand to his head, realised what she'd been doing, turned round and shouted "YOU LITTLE BITCH" in a dead high pitched posh voice, and slapped her across the face. She kept trying to look dead tough and pretending it didn't hurt, but she went bright red and pretty much kept her head down for the rest of the journey while her three charv mates pissed themselves laughing at her.

I saw him answer Garth Crooks in English at a press conference last week, so he definitely understands and speaks English. Good on him for refusing to deal with the English journalist scum though.

Another thing from my metro journey yesterday: two lads got on in the scruffiest clothes you've ever seen. It was a pretty warm day yesterday, and yet they had jeans, shirts, wooly jumpers and scabby stained Berghaus jackets on and were sweating like pigs. They were both carrying rucksacks and went to sit down (thankfully not next to me), staggering all the way down the aisle. Straight away they produced cans of lager from their bags and set about drinking them. At 9 in the morning. What a pair of alcoholic Harry Ramps!?

Touché nothing bum-meister! Your post suggested that you couldn't make it to the pub between 5-a-side and the match because you'd be having a 4 hour shower. I can only imagine you'd be donning the pink shellsuit and going berserk with the shower gel to make it last that long!

Is that not Lou's dad?

I'm not going to the perb in my 5-a-side clobber - soz Cath... A shower is a absolute necessity as well! 158300[/snapback] 5-a-side finishes at 1. Match starts at 5. You mong! 158302[/snapback] Precisely..... Which allows only 4 hours drinking time! Take it you missed the wink then Scott? 158308[/snapback] Er, what? You mong!

I'm not going to the perb in my 5-a-side clobber - soz Cath... A shower is a absolute necessity as well! 158300[/snapback] 5-a-side finishes at 1. Match starts at 5. You mong!

He's a fucking dickhead, it has to be said. I only saw 2 or 3 episodes of it last time, but I was struck by what a sad, desperate wanker he was straight away.

Unmitigated horseshit. 158276[/snapback] Correct!

eh? but thats a knocking bet at the end of the day one of them has to, sudden death n all that. 158259[/snapback] That's been troubling me ever since I first read this thread. 5/2 is a ridiculous price for any penalty taker to miss. 158266[/snapback] Maybe though he meant them to miss it as Trezeguet did, and not for Buffon to save it 158275[/snapback] Good shout. Maybe that was the bet.

Just building up to the main event - CELEBRITY LOVE ISLAND!

These two charver lads got on and after they'd finished beating one another with copies of Metro and shouting "FUCK OFF" really loud after every time they hit each other.....they started chatting her up and admiring her tattoo.

eh? but thats a knocking bet at the end of the day one of them has to, sudden death n all that. 158259[/snapback] That's been troubling me ever since I first read this thread. 5/2 is a ridiculous price for any penalty taker to miss.

Took my car in for its MOT today which meant putting myself through the torture that is using public transport. Anyway this lass gets on the metro, and sits opposite me.....very strange girl....short-haired, jam-jar glasses and a blink that makes her whole face scrunch up. Within about 5 minutes of getting on she starts rummaging in her bag and pulls out this tube of cream, squirts some onto her hand and starts rubbing it onto her shoulder. By this stage, I'm intrigued, so I casually glance at what she's rubbing this cream into. It's a fresh tattoo, the complexity of which has to be seen to be believed. Honestly, this must have been years in the design phase, and how she managed to find someone talented enough to turn her vision into reality, I'll never know. Scroll down to see what it said, but bear in mind that on a computer screen it's very difficult to convey just how good this thing was: M D A D M But in swirly font as well. Beautiful.

Word, my home boy tbf women are generally fucking useless though 158250[/snapback] don't get me started.... 158251[/snapback] Don't bite! He's on a wind-up 158252[/snapback] week..... 158253[/snapback] Aye, any fucking excuse!

I do hope no one's mentioned the war.

please please please can someone bring a video camera. Its only fair that the folk that cant make it can get a chance to see this! 157990[/snapback] Toontastic Piss Ups have a set of rules, especially regarding the posting of pictures... 157992[/snapback] Aye no pictures online. It's The Way of the Pissup.

At least it was a decent final. Best one in a while. Spoilt a bit by Zidane's crazy mentalness. Always a pisser when it goes to penalties though, and the best team on the night lost IMO.

Matterazzi was having a heart attack and Zidane saved his life. FACTAMUNDO. And the fuckers sent him off for it.