Gemmill

I've got a pork pie and cans of margaritas. That is KRYPRONITE to the Reform Party.

This is gonna be a nightmare for Farage. It's gonna be him, Tice, Anderson and then a cast of straight up retards who will immediately be exposed as racists with batshit stuff in their social media. He might very quickly have to boot people out the party and have 10 or fewer seats. 13 seats is a better than expected performance, but it's nowt to worry about. I'm enjoying the landslide and the Tory defeat. Farage can get to fuck, he's not spoiling my night.

I've switched over.

Widdecombe. I'm starting to think I'll be switching C4 off here.

Dorries straight away braying on about Johnson. She's fucking deranged.

Gary Gibbon straight into the "no enthusiasm for Labour" stuff. I hope Campbell knocks him clean out. Haha Dorries the fucking lunatic claiming this is a disaster for Labour. This is why C4 shouldn't have had this fucking idiot on.

The 130 seats for Tories is actually bad news for Farage. They don't need him and his team of spastics now.

I'm not gonna get hung up on the Reform 13 seats. Massive Labour win, Tories don't even have quite enough seats to form a proper opposition. Great result.

Actually it'll only be the news team that knows, not their guests I suppose.

These cunts in the news channels already know the result. Looking for Campbell to give something away. Kwasi Kwarteng grinning like a maniac, but he was doing that at the Queen's funeral so I'm ignoring it.

Well I didn't get my pre exit poll sleep. Looks like I'm going LOOOOONG BABY!

Listen, none of you even realised mine was a pun, such were the insane levels involved. It took an Australian to wake up for the pun to be revealed. Since then about 5 of you have used fungi/fun guy. You can all just FUCK OFF.

Antipasto selection Olives with basil and garlic Dinky honey and mustard sausages Pork pie A selection of crisps Some cans of margaritas Belgian chocolate flapjack Very cosmopolitan selection

I lost track of the French story, but I gather the Left and Macron's lot have got together and stood down a bunch of candidates. I mean Le Pen is gonna claim that the establishment has ganged up on her etc but it at least stops them forming the majority.

https://www.theneweuropean.co.uk/james-ball-your-viewing-guide-to-election-night/ This reckons 241 seats will declare between 3 and 4 am, including: Jeremy Hunt Alex Chalk Gillian Keegan Esther McVey Grant Shapps Penny Mordaunt Iain Duncan Smith Jeremy Corbyn So if you were gonna set your alarm for any time, 3 am would be it. 4am to 5am gives you: Sunak Farage Lee Anderson Rees-Mogg 5am to 6am: Truss Mercer Could be 3 of the best hours of TV this decade.

Stay safe.

It's easy for you veggies. It was enough for me to try and recall the name of three mushrooms. Obviously I went for the exotic ones like button.

I'm going out to get Politisnacks later. Yeah I made that name up myself. I think I might keep it a bit healthy and go for a full antipasti platter, which I'll bust out at midnight. Part of the thinking is that it'll force me to stay awake to stop the dog eating it.

Craig: Basingstoke Andrew: Burnley HMHM: strawb: Gorton and Denton Gloom: Dulwich and West Norwood Rayvin: Dumfriesshire, Clydesdale and Tweeddale PaddockLad: Poole NJS: Chelmsford Meenzer: North West Cambridgeshire Me, Alex and Toonpack: Cramlington and Killingworth Sonatine: City of Durham Holden: East Worthing and Shoreham KCG: East Kilbride and Strathaven Renton and The Ayatollah: Tynemouth wykiki: Leeds North East brokendoll: Monmouth Billy Whitehurst: Chelsea and Fulham spongebob: Hove and Portslade Dazzler: Newcastle Central and West The Fish: Cheadle

This is Luke Edwards's origin story.

Imagine having to look to Lee Anderson as your second in command. I'm actually gutted Anderson looks like holding his seat. Farage has probably saved his job for him by choosing to run. I was looking forward to GB News having to break the news to him that he's no longer useful to them anymore.

Aye, I don't want Tice there cos I want Farage to have to front it all up. See how he's doing after 6 months of going on to the Today programme and having to answer questions about why one of his MPs has been tweeting about cloud-seeding and the Great Reset. He'll fucking lose it eventually, and it'll be great.

I actually hope the Tory wins there. The idea of Farage having to manage a Parliamentary Reform Party of him, Anderson and maybe one or two of the genuine mental cases who think Hitler was a good lad and want chemtrails investigating, would be amazing.

Aye neither of them are getting my vote.