Gemmill

Yes, the God Particle was located.

Image in my head of a C&A catalogue photo of you two, over the shoulder jumpers with the sleeves tied, pointing at the new microwave with your heads tipped back, roaring with laughter.

Alright Buzzcut Malone. Captain Flattop!

He was caught out by my astonishing sexiness is what he was caught out by.

The interviewer is a weird little creep too.

Wahl Balding Clippers here. The only clippers I know that actually insult you in the name.

I keeps it real and it gets shaved though, unlike the hair horseshoe!

I mean it was clearly a fucking joke, Inspector O'Clouseau.

Yep, who'd be a baldy eh?! Not me that's for sure!

Fair play to Rayner for calling Sunak a "pint-sized loser" at PMQs.

Dowden is SHITE.

He looks perfect for them. He'll end up there, I'm sure. He's up for it, they'll just have to make it worth Feyenoord's while to lose him. I hope he's a big, arrogant, hopeless shithouse.

I had a motherfucking MRI last month, bitch! And I'm still going. All of the warnings everywhere about if you have ANY metal things in your body etc. There was a 1 in 1,000 chance that something went wrong cos of the PM. I wouldn't be surprised if it DID go wrong and I'm still here.

I had my Pacemaker replaced a couple of years back as it happens. Last one lasted about 9 years (off a 5 year battery) and this one has a 15 year battery, so I won't be going ANYWHERE!

Aye if we get a good summer, you'll feel it (yer bastard!). Get your guitar back out while the weather's shit.

How's retirement treating you, TP? I bumped into a bloke I used to work with recently and he looked younger and healthier than he did the last time I saw him (about 7 years ago). Anyway, I hope it's working out. 👍

Boris Johnson missed an opportunity there.

Spurs can't defend though. Ange's answer to that was to buy a fast bloke, only to discover that, per Rio Ferdinand, he's actually TOO FAST for his own feet.

We'd be trouncing all-comers in the Conference League. I expect Man United to get humbled by their neighbours in the FA Cup Final though.

Posted mine and the wife's local election postal votes this morning. I never normally bother with local elections, so hopefully there's people like me all over the country voting just purely out of spite and to make things extra uncomfortable for Sunak next Friday. I know results locally are Labour whatever happens, but I'm doing my bit for turnout. Others elsewhere can do their bit to boot Tories out.

Booked the day off today. Entirely coincidental.

I think he's been found out. You can play that high line in the SPL because of the relative quality of Celtic vs the rest of the league. You just can't do it in a stronger league - even Man City would lose too many games to win the league if he tried it with their squad. Looked mint when he first turned up, and he was a breath of fresh air in terms of interviews etc. But I think they're in for a much tougher season next time out. Which is great news for us.

The article claims that £2m is what we paid Brighton, and that the £4m reported at the time was wrong. Either way, the position is clear. If you want him early Jim, you pay what we want, not what you think.

They're offering £2m. We want £15m plus £5m in add-ons. Ratcliffe and Staveley have met personally to continue negotiations, which I'm sure went great.