Gemmill

Think Isak will end up being the difference tonight. He's so sharp.

Man United getting beat.

He's fine, he was hoping for a pen.

Isak inches from scoring.

Everton winning.

Can't get out of our defensive third at the minute. These can't keep this up though, surely. Unless Glasner brought those German inhalers over.

Rooney looking like a movie monster.

Wilson on the bench. First 11 unchanged.

The Gary Goalgasm.

Will you be attending in traditional Scottish garb to underline your credentials?

Yes, the God Particle was located.

Image in my head of a C&A catalogue photo of you two, over the shoulder jumpers with the sleeves tied, pointing at the new microwave with your heads tipped back, roaring with laughter.

Alright Buzzcut Malone. Captain Flattop!

He was caught out by my astonishing sexiness is what he was caught out by.

The interviewer is a weird little creep too.

Wahl Balding Clippers here. The only clippers I know that actually insult you in the name.

I keeps it real and it gets shaved though, unlike the hair horseshoe!

I mean it was clearly a fucking joke, Inspector O'Clouseau.

Yep, who'd be a baldy eh?! Not me that's for sure!

Fair play to Rayner for calling Sunak a "pint-sized loser" at PMQs.

Dowden is SHITE.

He looks perfect for them. He'll end up there, I'm sure. He's up for it, they'll just have to make it worth Feyenoord's while to lose him. I hope he's a big, arrogant, hopeless shithouse.

I had a motherfucking MRI last month, bitch! And I'm still going. All of the warnings everywhere about if you have ANY metal things in your body etc. There was a 1 in 1,000 chance that something went wrong cos of the PM. I wouldn't be surprised if it DID go wrong and I'm still here.