Gemmill

It was transformed into a THRONE, you mean?

That toilet seat has only needed sorting for about a year. Well done though!

I did it for effect as I saw you lurking dingleberry you will be pleased to know I am just partaking in a few this afternoon and none this evening......got to regain my Jewel Quest title don't you know JUST ONE MORE I CAN'T WIN WITHOUT THE DRINK PLEASE JUST ONE MORE IT CALMS ME DOWN I CAN SEE ALL THE GEMS BETTER PLEASE. I'm in Felling today so I might go and lock Radgina in a cupboard and make her go cold turkey. Any of her mates that only see her on a weekend will think she has a mental age of 2 or something with all the baby talk.

I've no reason not to believe the story. Come on, if you were going to make up a smokescreen about an injury, you would say he's taken a knock on the ankle and it's badly bruised or something. Something that people wouldn't be responding to with "EH? How come he can't play with that like?" You wouldn't make up something utterly preposterous like running into a slalom post and damaging his eye.

What use would a film at 2pm be to an insomniac?

No way, they're on the one I intend to buy next week.

Bastardos. Next week it is then.

Drunken mong. We've spoken about this. Clearly she has a SERIOUS problem.

Cannot agree more. The Duff and Martins deals are not included in the figures either (item 7 of the accounts) so after taking off the Faye and Boumsong income, that is roughly another 10mill expenditure. And I'd guess Duff's and Martins wages are more than Fayes and Boumsongs so the 63% figure could be even higher. The powder is that dry it has all blown away!! You can probably net Duff and Martins off with Shearer and Boumsong tbh. Don't think the wage percentage will change all that much. It's definitely far too high though - about £11m per year too high. That's not just something that sneaks up on you and all of a sudden your wage bill is too high. Yet further evidence of poor financial planning - it seems the 50% target assumes regular European football. We're so poorly managed at a board room level, that you can't really assume regular anything other than disappointment. We got Europe by the skin of our teeth last year, but I'm not sure we'll get it again come the end of this season.

Hush! They were lush Ha! That's you told, McGroin. Back in your box! I wish I'd found them and posted them on a Newcastle messageboard I did admit they were nicked though tbf.

Bet Clive Tyldesley is gutted Beckham left Man United. He would LOVE to go on about Manchester United's two sirs and constantly refer to Beckham as Sir David every time he took possession in a match. He would wet his pants.

Radgina, I thought we'd talked about your drink problem. Do I need to do another intervention?

He's been out of form this season though. He's been more use than Emre.

Aye the same bloke could nudge you accidentally in a pub and be made to MEET HIS MAKER.

This doesn't involve a strap-on, does it?

Sick in the heed man. Especially that thing when they were doing it to you, if you're a lass living by yourself, it must make you wonder whether it's just some dickhead that's picked a number at random who's getting their kicks out of it, or whether they're actually watching you/trying to work out if you're out or something. Like you say though, it's canny pathetic. nowt like making her feel better like! They've stopped now, spaz boy!

Sick in the heed man. Especially that thing when they were doing it to you, if you're a lass living by yourself, it must make you wonder whether it's just some dickhead that's picked a number at random who's getting their kicks out of it, or whether they're actually watching you/trying to work out if you're out or something. Like you say though, it's canny pathetic.

"....if you're the idiot that keeps ringing and just hanging up on me, then you may as well pack it in."

Never happened to me, but it sounds like the latest generation of twatful arseholes preying on the stupid/vulnerable. You can imagine some poor old lady ringing the number out of politeness to inform them she hasn't ordered anything. Did those dodgy hang-up calls that you were getting stop btw? I'm assuming they did. Remember a while back.

Aye same here. If I had that much I would probably put a bid in though. It'd be expensive, but I'd get me season ticket for free.

Sorry Scott, I might owe you an apology. PS SLP laughs at Downs blokes in wigs so theres no comeback for him saying I make fun of the disabled. He owns a blue cagoul as well. I think you might have your man.

Probably did it imo. Why did someone else claim responsibility, only to retract his confession when he realised the consequences? Personally from what I have read I reckon he's innocent, but I'm certain his guilt was nowhere near proven beyond reasonable doubt, or even in the balance of probabilites. Maybe I'm biting, and no doubt I will get labelled as a scouse lover again, but the city he comes from is irrelevant, my sympathies would be the same if he was a mackem. Some people in this thread want to have a look at their prejudices and think how they would feel if they were 19 and fitted up for something they hadn't done by Eastern European gestapo.

Jesus Christ, look at the interior of the thing.

Babysitting? Hello Magazine? MAN THE FUCK UP. I had to change the shittiest nappy ever as well. Fucking disgusting. It weighed about a stone. Gemmill blatantly using the opportunity to take the bairn round Lidl in the hope of catching the eye of cooing females ala Joey and Chandler in Friends. Which he probably then watched when he got back after not having pulled. WRONG! Bedtime is 6:45 and I only got there around 6ish, so no time for trips to Lidl. Just time for him to shit his kegs, me to change it, him to tear around like a lunatic for 20 minutes, then off to bed. The whole pull with a bairn thing is what you get up to when you're looking after YOUR nephew, and you're projecting.

On the Euromillions. Now whilst I realise that Albert Logic Renton won't be getting a ticket because "statistically I'm more likely to be struck by lightning", I'll be getting one on the basis that SOME LUCKY FUCKER is gonna end up winning it. Imagine that man. £75 MEELEEON!