Gemmill

Look, dickhead, when I get back from yet another disappointing result at the match to discover that some clown sat in Pakistan has decided that it's actually the fans at the ground, i.e. me, that are partly to blame for this - and I quote "At the moment we are a 12th man to the other team" - then you can be fairly certain that it's gonna piss me and anyone else that sat and watched that shit right off. Don't give me the "I'd love to be at the game, you're so privileged" shite either, because I can assure you that watching NUFC at the minute is far from a privilege. Until you're sat there as a part of that crowd you have no right to be giving us marks out of 10 and telling us where we're going wrong in support of the team. And if you continue trying to do so, I'll continue telling you to fuck off, whether people think it's nasty or not.

He's entitled to tell me how the crowd should and shouldn't react when he has to fork out to go and watch that turd every week. Until then, I'm entitled to tell him to fuck off. Great word-play with the knee jerk to jerk thing btw. I see what you did there.

We can't score goals, so we're fucked basically. The annoying thing about today was that they were SHIT and were there for the taking, but we were unwilling to commit people forward. Where were the runs into the box from the likes of Parker and Butt? Any time we went forward it was either hit Duff or hit Rossi with a cross, or......well, nothing really. Then Roeder doing nothing about it until 5 minutes to go when he brought Milner on for Solano??

"We"? "We" should be doing this, "we" should be doing that. "You" are in Pakistan, so basically fuck off tbh.

Reminded her about this and she said she was gonna do it when she got home from the pub. She won't be happy.

Good news that she'll be coming home Craig. Must be awful to have a worry like that on your mind.

I'm bootylicious tbh.

Bollocks, you'll be trollied again tonight.

No. It just broke. I never broke it though. I reckon you fell off it drunk or something. Not initially, but I have discovered since that it could be a bit precarious when tipsy. Tsk.

No. It just broke. I never broke it though. I reckon you fell off it drunk or something.

It was transformed into a THRONE, you mean?

That toilet seat has only needed sorting for about a year. Well done though!

I did it for effect as I saw you lurking dingleberry you will be pleased to know I am just partaking in a few this afternoon and none this evening......got to regain my Jewel Quest title don't you know JUST ONE MORE I CAN'T WIN WITHOUT THE DRINK PLEASE JUST ONE MORE IT CALMS ME DOWN I CAN SEE ALL THE GEMS BETTER PLEASE. I'm in Felling today so I might go and lock Radgina in a cupboard and make her go cold turkey. Any of her mates that only see her on a weekend will think she has a mental age of 2 or something with all the baby talk.

I've no reason not to believe the story. Come on, if you were going to make up a smokescreen about an injury, you would say he's taken a knock on the ankle and it's badly bruised or something. Something that people wouldn't be responding to with "EH? How come he can't play with that like?" You wouldn't make up something utterly preposterous like running into a slalom post and damaging his eye.

What use would a film at 2pm be to an insomniac?

No way, they're on the one I intend to buy next week.

Bastardos. Next week it is then.

Drunken mong. We've spoken about this. Clearly she has a SERIOUS problem.

Cannot agree more. The Duff and Martins deals are not included in the figures either (item 7 of the accounts) so after taking off the Faye and Boumsong income, that is roughly another 10mill expenditure. And I'd guess Duff's and Martins wages are more than Fayes and Boumsongs so the 63% figure could be even higher. The powder is that dry it has all blown away!! You can probably net Duff and Martins off with Shearer and Boumsong tbh. Don't think the wage percentage will change all that much. It's definitely far too high though - about £11m per year too high. That's not just something that sneaks up on you and all of a sudden your wage bill is too high. Yet further evidence of poor financial planning - it seems the 50% target assumes regular European football. We're so poorly managed at a board room level, that you can't really assume regular anything other than disappointment. We got Europe by the skin of our teeth last year, but I'm not sure we'll get it again come the end of this season.

Hush! They were lush Ha! That's you told, McGroin. Back in your box! I wish I'd found them and posted them on a Newcastle messageboard I did admit they were nicked though tbf.

Bet Clive Tyldesley is gutted Beckham left Man United. He would LOVE to go on about Manchester United's two sirs and constantly refer to Beckham as Sir David every time he took possession in a match. He would wet his pants.

Radgina, I thought we'd talked about your drink problem. Do I need to do another intervention?

He's been out of form this season though. He's been more use than Emre.

Aye the same bloke could nudge you accidentally in a pub and be made to MEET HIS MAKER.

This doesn't involve a strap-on, does it?