Gemmill

"Am tellun yer Nige, ad av a muslum in me owse before ad av a mag. Ah dinnit eyven think it's close. Ah cannit beleyve yiz brought a fuckun skunk"

"Ere Nigel mayut. Listen, av gorra lorra time for yer, absolewtley loved what yer done with Brexit n that, an I ayut.... I meeyn I absolewtley ayut the Muslums. But did yiz av ter bring a fuckun mag with yer?! Wuh dinnit like Sir John round ere marra."

He's the perfect celebrity endorsement for them. 91 years old, and extremely wealthy and out of touch. Doesn't have to worry about who the next government is because he'll be dead before any of their plans come to fruition.

Sir John Hall has just nailed his colours to the Reform mast. Attending a rally in Houghton Le Spring with Farage earlier. I'm sure the Mackems were pleased to see him.

And btw, the stuff about being controlled by people high up in the Labour Party was printed on the card too. He didn't just chuck that in as an ad-lib. Starmer should have said "Mate, I'm the actual fucking leader of the party. If you can find someone higher up than me, please tell me who they are cos I'd like to meet them."

The BBC debate last night. This bloke Robert gets up and reads a pre-approved question which is basically "Sunak, you're a mediocre PM, Starmer, you're being controlled by people high up in the Labour Party. Are you two really the best this country can do?" So, an insult, framed as a question, with some conspiracy theory nonsense thrown in. Read from a printed card, so clearly pre-approved. And then BBC Breakfast this morning, reporting on the debate says: "but perhaps the night belonged to Robert"... And plays his question and the applause that followed it in full. This is the BBC deciding the story of the night in advance by allowing someone to stand up and insult the PM and presumptive PM, and then reporting it the next morning as the main story of the debate. Please just fuck off.

They're getting a load of shit for it. It'll probably be deleted later in the day, or he can keep it up and confirm that he's a cunt that way instead.

Not sure any of this stuff matters, but the Economist has endorsed Labour for the first time since 2005.

Absolutely STINKING reading for the Tories. Which is nice.

Labour should do something about this while in power. Make it illegal to lie in political advertising and attach massive, campaign-busting fines to it.

Me too. Still decent patter though. Very convenient that the man who thought condoms were about to be taxed was also switched on enough to immediately recall that Sunak's wife is a nondom.

No striker?

Dave, with respect, how THE FUCK would you know anything about delivering instructions to a barber.

Aye he's gone to be home for the birth of his third child. He needs to be in attendance for the ceremonial shaving of the eyebrow tramlines.

Foden has returned home for a "pressing family matter".

☝️

Looks like the person behind the honeytrap thing with William Wragg was a Labour party member. They've been arrested and immediately suspended from the party. Obviously a total prick.

Fuck festivals. Loads of smelly unwashed people, gross bogs. No thank you.

Click through to see just how many times they've copied and pasted the word tax. They're having a nightmare.

Apparently this was Howe's response to the enquiry.

Chelsea have enquired about Isak apparently. He'd be fucking daft to go there imo but let's see. How Chelsea are able to afford this is absolutely beyond me. It seems like at some point the PL is going to have to step in and say "lads, where is this all going?"