Gemmill

Sounds attractive Laz. You'll not be kissing any more for a wee while.

Then are you playing PES?

I think Borat's funny. I've only seen this Bruno character once when some redneck yank threatened to rip his face off for some sort of gay innuendo he made. Ali G is finished now though, class when he was doing the interviews with Rhodes Boyson and that, but the shelf life on something like that is too short.

What was the point in signing Pav if we're gonna play Harper injured? Give him a week off to let the groin thing clear up ffs before it goes completely and we lose him for a month.

Not cos of Peer Guardian, Shirley? I would just uninstall it if that's the case though. I would imagine they're mostly going after the people that are actually putting the torrents up on there in the first place, and the people like Patrokles mentioned. Occasional downloaders won't be getting hit I don't think.

If Carr tries owt, I'll basically just LACE him tbh.

Everything's going wrong, so Renton couldn't be happier basically.

My mate's wife bought him the tickets AGES ago (I think they were a Christmas present), and she's a bit daft, so I hope she didn't get them near the front. If I end up as an object of ridicule on his next DVD there'll be NOWT the matter.

He was funny when I went to see him. FACT!

It's weird, but I'm just not too concerned about it. I think I've accepted that we're in a dogfight in the league, so the UEFA Cup is just a distraction. I'm actually looking forward to watching the match, but I'm not nervous about the result or anything like I would normally be. I'm looking forward to watching this one on the telly tonight more than I am going to the one on Saturday. Every home league game this season is gonna be awful unless we see a big change in our fortunes sharpish.

And to think he was saying that I had lost all optimism.

I'm normally asleep by half 10 too.

I need a boss that rings me at home telling me not to bother to go to work.

"If Juliet had had these windows up on her balcony, she'd never have even heard Romeo, and things could have turned out very differently for them both, Mrs. Lewis. But enough about Shakespeare, what about these windows? You buy cheap, you buy twice, Mrs. Lewis."

Anyone going to see him this weekend? A mate of mine has got a spare so I'm going with him, just wondered if anyone else is. I've seen one of his stand-up DVDs and it was ok, nowt special. He basically just stands and bombards you with the sort of one-liners he comes out with on 8 out of 10 cats, but it should be entertaining enough.

He was a classically trained actor long before he beamed up tbh I really enjoy Shakespeare, me and a couple of mates are going to Stratford to watch a play soonish.. as soon as we can all organise a weekend free, and sort out accomodation down there. What a rah you are! "Ohhh me and a couple of the fellas are off to Stratford for some Pimms and Shakespeare. Tally ho!" The thought of a group of lads arranging a Shakespeare is........well.......I don't wanna say gay........hmmm.....disconcerting?

Aye, as much as I think Mourinho is a dickhead, I would be beside myself with excitement if he somehow ended up here.

Jesus wept back atcha tbh. I don't know where you've all of a sudden developed this love of Luque from. People are obviously talking about the occasions when he HAS got a game and looked like he couldn't give a shit. That's the reason that all he gets to do is "sit his fat lazy arse on that bench". We'll see what he's like tonight.

I'll offer him my armchair once he gets here I say, that's awfully decent of you, especially after he has been so awful to you (you wouldn't booby-trap the armchair would you?) Oh yes, I was simply ghastly to him wasn't I?

Dan, you're 16 years old, you have showtunes on your iPod, you LOVE Eurovision, and now you're going to see RSC productions. I think it's time you sat your mam and dad down and let them in on that little secret you've been keeping.

Toonraider goes camping man. She has no interest at all in hygiene.

The fans are making him feel lazy. I've heard it all now.

I drove along the quayside on my way home from work and there was no snow there. It feels cold enough though, ya FUCKA!

Fork off, WUM.

*spins round, hooches out arse and breaks into song* Don't you wish your buttocks were hot like mine? Don't you wish your booty was perfect like mine? Don'tchaaaaa.......don'tchaaaaaaa.