Gemmill

You couldn't walk your dog without breaking your collarbone. You absolutely do not need a firearm. This has got "local man loses sight in one eye" written all over it.

Pipe down, Subway Socceroo.

You can get humane traps for them. Get one of them, catch it, and drive it to the edge of town First Blood style and tell it to keep walking or the next trap won't be quite so humane.

The thing for me is, the Republicans have no option but to go with Trump. It's not the Republican Party anymore, it's completely given itself over to Trump, so they're stuck. Which hands the Democrats an incredible opportunity to swap out their candidate, and absolutely wipe the floor with the bloke. I don't believe the argument that Harris polls worse than Biden against Trump. She won't once people see her stood next to him. The patter seems to be that once the Nato thing is out of the way, the Democrats will move to convince Biden and it could all be over by the end of next week.

What the fuck does "with family no" mean? We need CONTEXT goddammit!

"They both get names wrong, but Trump does it more than Biden" This is the Democrat defence this morning. Their bloke is more senile than ours. What a fucking mess.

Farmer Bunce. IYKYK BABY!

However much power the magedia wields on Wearside, it can be NO MATCH for the cockney mafia.

The women's team had revenues last year of £9m and made a loss of £4m. There's no way it's worth $200m in any sensible valuation. I would be massively surprised if they get away with this. Their previous property sale is still pending approval too.

Shelley Duvall. Off to the big Overlook Hotel in the sky.

Roo-on-Roo attack!

Falling out already. I suppose they at least haven't started knocking one another out yet, which is what they did as MEPs.

I don't know what the tune is, but I've just read that England fans now sing "Stop the Boats, Nigel Farage"?? What the fuck is that shit.

They were funny last time when they came out of nowhere, and he was just going tops off mental in his kitchen and nearly crying. Now that I know he endorsed Mark François though, he can fucking ram it.

You're probably right, but that's as it should be really. I do wonder how much resistance Staveley would really be able to put up though if the big dawgs decided they wanted Howe gone. I know a lot of people are lamenting the loss (and I'm not putting you in this bracket), but it was a canny weird setup to have two shareholders floating about the place making decisions. It was needed for a while, but it had to come to an end eventually.

We should post a few page 3 lasses around the front row in bikini tops, and get them making eyes at this 16 year old kid. He'll spooge his kegs and it'll be the sun wot won it.

He should start Watkins, but he won't drop his captain. No way.

Fuck that, he's still a super limited manager. I call him THE HANDBRAKE. Replace him with someone decent and the handbrake comes off. I hope he wins the tournament and goes out on a high cos he's done loads for the culture of the team, and has really supported the players through some absolute bullshit from fans and media. But he's undoubtedly holding this set of players back. And I understand how ridiculous it sounds to be saying that I want him to win the tournament so he can leave. But I'll not be the only one.

And I almost forgot... IN YOUR FACE, RONALD KOEMAN!

The Watkins goal was a proper David Platt moment, where as soon as it went in, you knew it was the winner cos there was so little time left in the game. Seen it a few times again this morning and it's brilliant. It's a shame he won't drop Kane cos they would start the final with a better chance of winning with Watkins up front.

THE PATIENT IS READY!