Gemmill

Gemmill sick of Luque. By the way, if we'd played with Luque up front against Arsenal I think we'd have got beat. It was all hands to the pump and Luque doesn't do all hands to the pump.

Slap your baldy knackers on the ink nozzles, you dirty pervert!

defending your bum chum are you You should be thankful he's not here to wipe the floor with you again tbh.

Renton's on holiday, Leazes.

Mancs just missed a penalty and the fucking roof came off. I'm enjoying the fact that they're losing but at the same time I don't want the jocks getting ideas above their station.

"I remembered the guys at the Mandorah Pub wanted something to put in their huge fish tank. But I made the stupid mistake of grabbing it with my left hand because I was holding a beer with my right one."

That hand in the WSOP Main Event vs. Goldie Hawn's son is hilarious. First hand of a $10,000 tournament - Farha has A-T, Hudson has pocket 10s. The flop comes A-A-T - both flop a full house. Hudson bets, Farha raises, Hudson moves all in, Farha calls and Hudson is out on the very first hand. $10k for one minute of play. The poor bastard.

I quite liked was it Matchstick Men? Where he plays a conman? That was ok.

40 for my first round on the golf btw. Try and beat it beeatches!

Blatantly fancies me.

Did she leave it?

A lad at work, you plum!

Oh yeah, I didn't realise I left my work number on there. Don't misbehave now, children. I don't want any heavy breathing calls from you, Toonraider.

Are you serious, you wankers? Give it another 5 or 10 minutes. If you don't get it then, then I'll send it from my work email which worked fine for SLP. I suspect it's you lot on trampy email addresses or something.

Aye, I meant to Sky + it. I've never seen it. Balls.

You didn't send me your email address, spacca malacca.

Sent. Let me know if you don't get it.

Anyone else? Quick cos I'm gonna send an email out in a few minutes. Trying to minimise the number of times I need to send it.

Anyone who wants it, PM me your email. SLP - yours is already on the way.

Yup, four separate Excel sheets. It just doesn't get any better.

I've just been sent pacman, tetris, mini-golf and Sonic, ALL EMBEDDED IN EXCEL. Genius. You don't even have to have the internet open!? Anyone want them?

No it isn't. Glad we cleared that up. Twice in one week Wullie. That's regular.

We've made an enquiry for him and Emanuelson apparently and been told no-go on both of them. I'd like to get excited that we're targetting someone of quality, but to me it just seems stupidly ambitious. It's like when I try and sign Totti on FM.

According to a direct quote from Roeder in today's Chronicle. No surprises there then.