Gemmill

Horrible moment there. Expected it to be about 3:30 when I looked at the clock. 2:11 ffs.

I just imagine him bursting through the front door to find a trail of lettuce leaves and tofu leading to the bedroom with a runway of jos sticks lighting the way, stripping down to his disposable hemp underpants as he climbs the stairs. "Claire.......daddy's home......you ready for me baby?"

I'll be driving home trying not to look at the clock.

If you're expecting a plain naan you wouldn't have ordered a keema. Ah but he didn't. It was a group order. Keep up, Sandra!

You can imagine the horror though. With a sandwich, burger or hotdog, you're anticipating the meat content. If you're expecting plain naan and you tear a bit to find what looks like pedigree chum in it, you'd have a right to complain.

says Nick. No Nick. It doesn't. That's a table. I had the pleasure of being in Jesmond Metro station on Wednesday. Some of the panels on the wall had been painted with different colours in different blocks. By a professional artist. There was even an explanation on behalf of Nexus to describe the thinking of said artist's thinking behind the 'work'. Take it from me, it is utter shit. Utter SHIT. And some fucker got paid for it. *plans to get the kids' paint pots out the loft and make some art - for money* Got a tour of our corporate headquarters in Arnhem last week. An art tour to be precise. The company actually employs this woman to invest in art - that's all she does - and it's then put on display in the company HQ. Weird. Anyway, it was her that was giving us the tour and she was giving us all that spiel as well about the motivation and that. She brings us to this one thing that was this painting of a boy with dog's ears coming out of his head. When we were all assembled in front of it, she comes out with "This piece is called Dog Face". This Italian lass who was stood next to her just burst out laughing pretty much right in her face and couldn't stop. She was just stood there going "I so sorry. So sorry." giggling away. Fucking Dog Face. Fuck off man! Lad at work went to the Baltic last week and he reckons one of the displays is stick figure drawings of blokes bumming one another. Literally stick figures. Jesus, I used to do that in the back of my exercise book and draw arrows pointing to my mates. Turns out I'm an art genius.

Meat bread. The mince in keema naan always looks very suspect though. I like peshwari naan personally.

SLP, is your mother in law to be the one doing the earnest art appreciation face on the Events tab? Practise that look for tonight.

says Nick. No Nick. It doesn't. That's a table.

Tell Nick James, who made this: that if I want to see a table, I'll go to Ikea. Artist shmartist!

Geordie Homer Simpson tbh. Mmmmm....curry.

Moon on a stick! What were you doing last night that prevented you watching the match, dickwad? Call yourself a fan!

Here man, stop referring to her as "my girl". Are you P Diddy?! "Whassup babydoll. You my girl fo' all time, sho'nuff."

I can't imagine Dave at an art exhibition like.

Useless bint.

Actually I think I've seen her. I'll vouch for the fish on this one...If it's the same lass I'm thinking of. Has the Fish PM'd this pic to most lads on here already then? Dear me I hope this lass has been doing the same and sent a pic of him to a bunch of complete strangers so they can all decide whether he's worth one. He's not btw Pwnage!

How pathetic are you?! "Look at what kind of lass I can pull!" Get a life! I love it when Cath takes the Fish down a peg or two. I've seen the photo now. Bella Emberg tbh.

So'm I man! Isn't she the one that looks like Francis Rossi? LOL nah, hang on, i'll post a pic of us. SLP is gonna mess himself. just remembered this is a Football thread, people come on here for discussion, not to see pics!!! (i'll stick one of us in my profile) Was that when you both appeared on a postage stamp ffs? thats an old pic, i will change it daily....oh and before you say one word, my hair is now dead poker straight!!! It's absolutely tiny is what I meant woman! Did you take it on a spy camera or something?!

No sign of this photo yet - blatantly googling "supermodels".

So'm I man! Isn't she the one that looks like Francis Rossi? LOL nah, hang on, i'll post a pic of us. SLP is gonna mess himself. just remembered this is a Football thread, people come on here for discussion, not to see pics!!! (i'll stick one of us in my profile) Was that when you both appeared on a postage stamp ffs?

Haway then, I'll have a picture of your lass. PM it, you show-off.

Bit better than normal I thought. Still gash like. He just doesn't have that aura of danger about him. Danger's his.....middle name.

I don't mind him Parky. I think he's been ok so far this season and I don't really want to see him leave in January. He's still got no pace though.

So'm I man! Isn't she the one that looks like Francis Rossi? LOL nah, hang on, i'll post a pic of us. SLP is gonna mess himself.