Gemmill

Chris Mason on the BBC is a little balding cunt.

Mordaunt Hunt Cleverly Badenoch Shapps All forecast by the exit poll to lose their seats.

Munchetty got sent to Blyth.

That's their live stage show. It's a different crew that is doing the live stream.

I'm not sure that's based on the exit poll is it?

I'm assuming this means we're not gonna see as many of the cabinet get wrecked. Which is very disappointing. Mcvey still forecast to win sadly. Jeremy Vine is such a fucking dork. Joey Barton will be watching this thinking he got robbed.

I recognise the voices but I don't know their names.

I want to know where Reform are forecast to be winning. I bet there's one up here.

The margin of error on this exit poll must be canny wide BTW, with a massive swing result like this. Could still be some decent movement in the forecast seats. Nothing that's gonna change the result obvs.

He gets on my tits. I might be watching the Oh God What Now YouTube stream shortly. I NEED MY ECHO CHAMBER!

I've got a pork pie and cans of margaritas. That is KRYPRONITE to the Reform Party.

This is gonna be a nightmare for Farage. It's gonna be him, Tice, Anderson and then a cast of straight up retards who will immediately be exposed as racists with batshit stuff in their social media. He might very quickly have to boot people out the party and have 10 or fewer seats. 13 seats is a better than expected performance, but it's nowt to worry about. I'm enjoying the landslide and the Tory defeat. Farage can get to fuck, he's not spoiling my night.

I've switched over.

Widdecombe. I'm starting to think I'll be switching C4 off here.

Dorries straight away braying on about Johnson. She's fucking deranged.

Gary Gibbon straight into the "no enthusiasm for Labour" stuff. I hope Campbell knocks him clean out. Haha Dorries the fucking lunatic claiming this is a disaster for Labour. This is why C4 shouldn't have had this fucking idiot on.

The 130 seats for Tories is actually bad news for Farage. They don't need him and his team of spastics now.

I'm not gonna get hung up on the Reform 13 seats. Massive Labour win, Tories don't even have quite enough seats to form a proper opposition. Great result.

Actually it'll only be the news team that knows, not their guests I suppose.

These cunts in the news channels already know the result. Looking for Campbell to give something away. Kwasi Kwarteng grinning like a maniac, but he was doing that at the Queen's funeral so I'm ignoring it.

Well I didn't get my pre exit poll sleep. Looks like I'm going LOOOOONG BABY!

Listen, none of you even realised mine was a pun, such were the insane levels involved. It took an Australian to wake up for the pun to be revealed. Since then about 5 of you have used fungi/fun guy. You can all just FUCK OFF.

Antipasto selection Olives with basil and garlic Dinky honey and mustard sausages Pork pie A selection of crisps Some cans of margaritas Belgian chocolate flapjack Very cosmopolitan selection

I lost track of the French story, but I gather the Left and Macron's lot have got together and stood down a bunch of candidates. I mean Le Pen is gonna claim that the establishment has ganged up on her etc but it at least stops them forming the majority.