Gemmill

I love this. Forced by her employer to go and listen to this fucking baboon, and using facial expressions as her silent protest against it all. Get her invited to Number 10.

Stealing a line from somebody else on a recent podcast, but having a 44 year old grandmother who was pregnant at 16, and living with a mam that couldn't read, appointed Deputy PM is not nothing. There'll be loads of people looking at that today and thinking "fucking hell, that could be me", who would NEVER have thought that before.

Seen a couple of clips but I'm not watching cos I can't bear the man. He's gonna fucking HATE being an MP though. It's gonna bore the tits off him. This isn't the European Parliament where he's gonna be representing one of the major nation States and he can go and make his gob go and be listened to. And btw even that bored the tits off him and he never went. His voice in Parliament is gonna be fucking tiny and his finances and all of his MPs are gonna come under scrutiny. Remember when Galloway won and we were all told he was gonna be Starmer's worst nightmare. I haven't heard a fucking peep out of him since then. The political press with Farage are like how David Brent is with Finchy. "Oh... Here he is. *stifled giggle* Big Nige. Bet you're here to sort us all out are you Nige? *giggle* He's mental this one. You just watch what he's gonna do now, it's gonna be CARNAGE." They should all hang their heads.

Starmer's missus is the best looking PM's wife of my lifetime as well.

It's gonna be much easier to ignore politics very soon imo. The first time a cabinet member does something dodgy and is having to resign the next day, you'll feel a slight loosening of the knot in your shoulders. Loads of stuff that you used to just be able to expect from people in government that we've all forgot was just taken for granted is gonna come back, cos it's the easiest way in the world for Starmer to underline that this lot are different. We've all got addicted to being enraged by the people in charge, and I think and hope that that will be the first very tangible thing to change. Then hopefully people the bigger stuff will come. I've had a couple of hours kip so I'm gonna watch the walk to Downing Street and the speech. 👍

KISS! KISS! KISS! KISS!

If I could give you back your e-coli, I would do it right now.

STOP THIS NOW! Labour has just won a landslide man. I don't want to hear your 1930s Germany comparisons.

If Labour sit on their hands and do nothing for the next 5 years, and you re-run last night's election with a Unite the Right party that could attract all of the votes from both lunatic Reform people AND moderate Tories in the home counties, then yes, Labour would be in trouble. Basically.. Can we just wait and see what happens. What happens at the next election will depend on many variables, but the biggest of all will be how well the government delivers, and we're on day 0 at the minute and trying to work out what happens 5 years from now. It's the idiotic political media in this country to blame. They all want to make RED HOT takes the day of the result. These are the same people who, on the day of the result 5 years ago, had everyone convinced that Labour could just completely forget about regaining power for the next 10 years. And yet here we are. I've had 1 hour sleep, so if this seems snippy, TOUGH SHIT!

Cletus has just left. When he turned up I had a smart electric meter that could transmit a signal and a smart gas meter that couldnt. I now have a smart electric meter AND a smart gas meter that can't transmit a signal. Which was well worth the 2.5 hours sat propping my eyelids open.

A catamaran man's got to man his catamaran.

Another sensible take.

@PaddockLad

I would just enjoy the fact that the Tories have been smashed. Give yourself at least a week, before you torture yourself with scenarios about how a party that currently has 4 seats is going to take over the Tory Party and romp to victory at the next election.

They wouldn't like. There are moderate Tories that would be appalled by the party becoming a vehicle for Farage.

Chris Philp won. Fuck you Croydon South. And all your other compass points too.

The good thing is that these independent pro-Palestine candidates can sort out Gaza/Israel. I think that'll be handy for everyone if they could pick that up.

She's easily the fittest of the political nerd journos.

Cletus is here and the first thing he's done is switch the electric off. Livid. He's much more normal in person, but he CATEGORICALLY could not pass as my twin. CATEGORICALLY.

Just disregard the Truss DOWN post and assume I went very Queer Eye in my commentary on "Sharp"

They've got 4 MPs man. The simple reality is that that just gets you very little exposure in Parliament. Their ability to interfere in the actual business of govt is going to be severely restricted - not much more than he has currently by just going on Question Time or whatever. Im not saying it's nothing btw, it's not nothing. But it's nothing like as big a deal as the way the media went in on it in the hours after the exit poll.

Like the man said. Thick as fuck.

Ah that's mint. I hope he made a private copy of "the letter" for himself. The fucking prick.

Thought Liz Kendal spoke a lot of sense earlier when she was saying that their job is not to pile up votes in safe seats, and that it's testament to their strategy of moving activists around seats to build the results that people have seen today. I don't doubt that it's going to be hard to hold this together, but I find the immediate framing of "it's all built on sand lads, you'll be fucked in 5 years" is just lazy as fuck. There are potential upsides too - the Tories are gonna have at least 6 months of batshittery while they pick a new leader. Whichever option they go for, that leader will cause division among their remaining MPs, and the number of 1922 letters is now a ridiculously low absolute number. Also, the Palestine issue has clearly hurt Labour this election but that won't be there forever. But mainly the whole framing just assumes they're going to get in power and be just as shit as the Tories were, and that no one will see any improvement in their lives. They might be right, but fucking hell they haven't even counted all the bastard votes yet. Could we maybe hold off on getting the new govt on to basically say "I mean we'll done, but you're fucked aren't you?"