Gemmill

We should post a few page 3 lasses around the front row in bikini tops, and get them making eyes at this 16 year old kid. He'll spooge his kegs and it'll be the sun wot won it.

He should start Watkins, but he won't drop his captain. No way.

Fuck that, he's still a super limited manager. I call him THE HANDBRAKE. Replace him with someone decent and the handbrake comes off. I hope he wins the tournament and goes out on a high cos he's done loads for the culture of the team, and has really supported the players through some absolute bullshit from fans and media. But he's undoubtedly holding this set of players back. And I understand how ridiculous it sounds to be saying that I want him to win the tournament so he can leave. But I'll not be the only one.

And I almost forgot... IN YOUR FACE, RONALD KOEMAN!

The Watkins goal was a proper David Platt moment, where as soon as it went in, you knew it was the winner cos there was so little time left in the game. Seen it a few times again this morning and it's brilliant. It's a shame he won't drop Kane cos they would start the final with a better chance of winning with Watkins up front.

THE PATIENT IS READY!

This poor cunt.

Roy Keane when England score is hilarious. Just turns away from the screen, and you know he's thinking "Jaysus these cunts will be insufferable now so they will."

He'll never drop Kane but Watkins looks so much sharper. It would be too big of a call for Southgate not to start his captain though.

Why is he making all these subs? There's one fucking minute to play.

2 mins of injury time in the second half is almost unheard of these days. Southgate master plan. Pass it sideways for 45 minutes and then score the winner.

Start Watkins in the final tbh.

Brilliant!

Bollocks. Just off.

Trippier was having a better game than Shaw is.

He'll make changes if we're behind, but if it's level he hasn't got the balls.

Looks like Gareth might be settling for the point.

Game's crying out for some pace. I don't suppose we've got any on the bench.

You see that all the time. A player shooting and he hits the defender's foot on his follow through. It's not a penalty.

I'm Gen X, PIGTAILS. The coolest sounding of all the Gens.

Two words: CRAIG. MOORE.

Saka must be much stronger than he looks. He seems nails to get off the ball.

What the fuck is Kane doing there? Half the team is ahead of him.