Gemmill

Paqueta Tayto's.

Aye, and I think it's hamstrings. Rapid player plus recurrent hamstring problems is no use to us.

Hope they don't come for Bruno. Paqueta has put out a statement saying he's contesting the charges, so we don't need to wait til June 3rd for his response.

Are we all aware that the kids are now talking about the cozzie livs and genny lec BTW?

Pwopa nawty!

I've given up giving a fuck about America. The place seems lost to the lunatics.

His laugh. He's just one of the lads. Going to a brewery, looking for some football chat, and these fucking Welsh losers have got no patter.

Bowen, yes. DCL, absolutely not. Permanently injured, and the king of underperforming his xG.

Dougie Freedman ❤️ Mid-table.

I'd rather have a pint with Klopp than you.

Tice still adamant they're standing in every seat. Good.

What does this mean for the Rayner investigation BTW? Cos I'm sure if it was a Tory being investigated, the police wouldn't say anything during an election campaign so as not to affect the result. Will the same apply to Labour or will there be the Tory equivalent of an "October surprise" a week out from polling?

Here we go.

Day 1 of the campaign. More to come.

With that Baker clip btw. It doesn't even occur to him that she's asking what he's gonna do for work. Most people, faced with the prospect of 6 weeks left in a job, don't get the luxury of planning sky diving or "fast catamaran sailing" trips. The fake action man bellend. You can tell with Baker, he's a bloke who basically looks after himself who works in an environment where most of the other blokes don't, and he thinks he's fucking God's gift as a result.

Also, Sunak confirming that no flights will leave to Rwanda before the election. So hundreds of millions spent on a scheme that will never be put into practice. Canny.

Tobias Ellwood was on telly earlier and mentioned three possible outcomes from the election: Hung parliament Tories lose "well" Tories lose "badly" Real inspirational shit on day 1 of a campaign, and basically Vote Tory, get a Labour led coalition. What incentive is that to vote Tory. Some of them have just given up and can't even bring themselves to pretend anymore. Meanwhile Sunak is in excited chihuahua mode.

Has everyone watched Atlanta? It's ostensibly a half hour comedy show about a rapper and his management team in Atlanta. But as you go through the seasons they get more and more ambitious and it turns into social commentary, but always funny. I've just watched the episode where it's a mockumentary about, after the Rodney King riots, Disney appoints a black CEO who wants to make a goofy movie. He's convinced Goofy is a black bloke and he wants to tell the story of the black man in America through Goofy's eyes. Anyway strong recommend for the whole thing.

His index finger. Cheeky little stroke I reckon. Some er.... decent pics on her twitter tbf. But she's a Villa fan and a Farage fan, so she can do one.

Sunak on the North East today apparently. Probably tonguing Houchen's hole. Be interesting to see if they try to keep pulling the strong arm security stuff that they've done with the Sky presenter yesterday, to keep Sunak insulated.

Ugghhhh the vox pops now. Straight to some market worker in Bury to talk about immigration: "The country can't take any more people!" Just fast forward us to polling day ffs.

The BBC's Henry Zeffman this morning trying to claim that Sunak speaking in the rain was somehow a brave decision which reflected his underlying message of leading in difficult times. apparently his team will be quite happy with that. Also it's difficult to hear speeches even without music playing so that didn't really matter either. It's gonna be a LONG old 6 weeks.

Yes please. Let's get this plan into action.