Gemmill

Some of the hats on these returning officers. Iceberg Slim would have baulked at the one in the Shapps result.

Yep, SHAPPS DOWN. GET THE FUCK IN! The inventor of the supermajority becomes it's first big victim.

Shapps is on now. Expected to lose. The first major dickhead could be about to fall.

The Tories don't look like getting to 131 and Reform don't look like getting to 13.

Myrie and Kuennsberg absolutely exultant that Starmer's majority is down. I think they're just checking whether this actually disqualifies him from being PM. More as we get it.

All coverage is about to go mental cos Clacton is about to declare and Nigel Farage is set to be declared the People's Prime Minister by all broadcasters. Starmer's seat being declared. Watch the BBC cut his speech short to go to Clacton.

The brains behind Teresa Mary's 2017 campaign, Nick Timothy, has won his seat. So that's something for Labour to worry about.

"Labour's night so far!" Says Clive Myrie. Listen, balance is important, who knows what happens from this point in.

Galloway didn't even appear on stage for the result to be read out, the absolutely pathetic fanny.

I bought way too much food BTW. Pork pie has gone though. And some crisps and olives.

Na. Is that gonna go Reform if it doesn't go to him though? I mean I'll left them have one back for the bantz, I suppose.

These daft cunts aren't getting 13 seats. The spackas that went to bed high on a 13 seat exit poll are gonna wake up in the morning and blame it on pencils at polling booths.

Let the wind blow high, let the wind blow low, it's a Labour win in Kilmarnock!

GALLOWAY DOWN! Kinnock pissing himself, calling him repulsive.

Laura K to Kinnock: you've won some seats in Wales, but your vote is actually DOWN!? Tories just came FIFTH in one of the seats she's talking about.

Clive Myrie to Kinnock. Result isn't even in and this cunt's question is: "Are you sure he can deliver for the people who voted Conservative in 2019 and have come back to Labour? These people can't be let down again, can they?" RIP The Labour honeymoon before the results are even in. The political media in this country is a fucking disgrace.

Here's Starmer. Looking like a robot with blusher on. Tremendous work from him though tbf, he deserves all the blusher in the world.

It is ALL these cunts are taking about. Labour winning seats they've not held for nearly 100 years, and the BBC is all "SORRY IM JUST GONNA HAVE TO CUT IN THERE BECAUSE REFORM JUST CAME SECOND IN BARSNLEY!"

Anderson just declared Ashfield the capital of common sense. Well apparently not arsehole.

Looks like this is absolute shenanigans from GB News and Reform. Cooper to increase her majority.

I think the Tories just came 4th in Ashfield.

Lee Anderson has won Ashfield. Shame.

GB News reporting that Reform are saying they've beaten Yvette Cooper. Which would be one of those unexpected gains, and a proper kick in the stotts for Starmer (and Cooper).