Gemmill

I've been telling you all how to do it for fucking weeks, arsehole. No surprise that the bloke who accidentally collapsed the "Main Boards" section and thought he'd been locked out of the forum has taken his fucking time sussing it out though.

The LibDem slogan for this election should be "Ooooo Betty".

The Sky leader event is on tonight and sounds like a decent format. Starmer and Sunak each have a separate 20 minute interview with Beth Rigby (in front of the studio audience), and then each separately has 25 minutes in front of the same audience, but answering questions from the crowd. It's 90 minutes of your life but it's an actual genuine attempt to get some answers out of the pair of them. It could legit go badly wrong as well if the audience turns against one or both of them. So much better than ITV's "Keir Starmer, what are your plans to reverse climate change.... You have 45 seconds, starting...... NOW!"

Like shooting fish in a barrel atm.

I actually don't think there was much wrong with that, and I think it's a bit naughty of ITV to clip it up, just cos they know everything he says is being jumped on. He also says it was amazing and brilliant to meet all the veterans, etc. I mean I'm all about things going worse and worse for them in the run up to the election, but I think making something of that clip was bollocks.

FTR, he wasn't listening to me when he was texting out pictures of his knob, as a married man.

He should just be honest and say "I was really fortunate not to have to go without as a child, and it's what I want for all kids in this country". It would be a lie, but at least it couldn't be clipped up and used to make him look like an out-of-touch idiot. The thing is, I bet his brain feels like it's been through a liquidiser at this stage. He won't be able to open his mouth without wondering whether he's saying something wrong as the words are falling out of his mouth. Even delivering rehearsed and prepared lines is killing him, so the prospect of sitting in front of someone and not knowing where the next half an hour is going to go in terms of questions must be shit. The pressure must be insane. I can't feel remotely sorry for him though. He'll live the rest of his life in absolute luxury, whilst everyone else suffers the consequences of his time in government.

Aye I thought this was quality.

In case you think I'm being hyperbolic about their manifesto, this "yep" should help.

The Tories put their manifesto out yesterday. They're cutting welfare, forcing sick and disabled people back to work*, and they're gonna use the money they save to give other, better off people tax cuts. If Labour puts the same manifesto out tomorrow, then the idiots on that podcast will be right. *I watched Gillian Keegan earlier saying that in particular they feel they can target people that aren't working because of mental health problems. So that's nice.

Has NJS got his own podcast now?!

Looks class. I only play my Strandberg now cos of my gimpy shoulder, but I still love my tele and it's all I'd play if I could. The simplicity is the best thing about them. No daft pickup combos to get tied up with or anything, no trem.

I can heartily recommend offering your congratulations to Man United fans on twitter and then muting the conversation. Check back in half an hour and you'll be shocked to find that they are less than grateful for your well wishes.

NO DISH RISH: MY SKY TV HELL ... Is how the Mirror is covering this.

Forward thinking? I mean attack-minded.

It's a sign of what a great country we live in that a little Winchester College boy who "famously" doesn't even have Sky TV can one day grow up to be Prime Minister. What a rags to riches story.

The first 15 minutes of Newsnight last night were given over to MP security because someone threw some empty paper cups at Farage yesterday.

We've got to build a squad where we've got quality across 20 odd spots. To do that you do have to buy people that can play in the same position as others. He's much more forward thinking than Bruno from what I've seen of him though.

Jim Ratcliffe continues to impress me.

Since this was announced earlier, this Ciotti's party has all told him to get fucked. 2 of his Senators have resigned, loads have spoken out and said they want no part of this alliance, and it's actually potentially worked in Macron's favour.

GUMPH! The Tories won this seat on a by-election post 2019. They're now down to a 10% vote share.

This explains A LOT about your contributions to the jokes thread.