Gemmill

Here lads, are all of your kids this fucking thick?

The marking of Vardy. I think it's fair to say that Ange's focus preseason has not been on Spurs' defensive frailties.

Midfield is fine. We're already gonna have at least two lads consistently disappointed at not being picked, not sure we need to add a third.

Legend!

On the day that it breaks that Bruno is new club captain, Trippier is turning out for the U21s, two days after he got zero minutes in a backs to the wall season opener. And you think this all just looks normal?

Bruno confirmed new club captain. Trippier playing for the U21s.

Hope is now reporting that Bruno is new club captain. Looks like Howe isn't too worried about the disruption.

Trippier and Targett are turning out for the U21s tonight apparently. Wonder if this is just match fitness for both, or if Trippier is paying the price for flaunting his wares with Saudi clubs in the summer.

Much better than your written mackem accent.

I think he's doing fine. 4 is very young to be learning a foreign language.

I'm gonna stop worrying about how to pronounce his name and just go with GALLERY OF HORRORS.

Guehi alternative latest.

I don't like seeing these Roo-on-Roo incidents. It's like seeing Mick Dundee and Donk fall out.

The shame is that you aren't on the payroll, standing behind Mitchell at his desk: "Right, open up Google. Click into the box... NO, that's the address bar. THE SEARCH BOX. THERE! Right, now type 'Bruno type signings'. Press enter. Right, I'm popping to Superdrug for some anusol, I'll be back in an hour to see what you've found."

CT simultaneously demanding and ruling out Bruno type signings.

I was pretty convinced that the reason he's spent the last few weeks sat around the house is cos the shooting business has affected him. Soft shite.

I don't know why we don't just make some Bruno type signings. I also don't understand why, when we're struggling in matches, we don't just give Isak the ball to run past their entire team and set up a goal like he did against Everton.

He's in an awkward spot cos of his wages and his ludicrous press release. But for his wages, he'd be a great signing for one of the newly promoted teams who would see his attitude as a risk worth taking for survival. As it stands, and with his England career seemingly over, I wouldn't be surprised to see him head to Saudi.

He sounds like he's describing a series of cold war steve efforts.

Mdrongo.

Fuck you.

What right thinking person would live in Florence over Sunderland? Who would pick the Ponte Vecchio over Pennywell? The Duomo over Dalton Park? Serie A over Silksworth. Wuz are gettun a new goalkeeyper, marras!