Gemmill

I actually don't know. My mam probably is, my dad probably isn't.

I was listening to Tim Montgomerie saying that he has friends that use their winter fuel allowance every year to buy a really nice bottle of wine for themselves. There'll be LOADS of people that absolutely don't need it. As long as they ensure that everyone that should get pension credits, gets pension credits, then I don't have a problem with it at all.

Rutter, Gray, Summerville and Sinisterra, all better than Clark, and all have left Leeds for more money than Clark is going for. So he's at least moved up 4 spots in the Literally the Best Player in the League chart recently.

I think he's generally alright tbh. It's not exactly outrageous to think that losing the captaincy might have put Trippier's nose out of joint.

This has just flipped today. They've both had 1 in 2 chance, Trump has now dropped to 40%.

A lot of sad spaghetti western trumpets and wobbly top lips.

This is like Dennis the Menace asking for the homework that he won't do.

"It was a Hail Mary move to try and get @thebrokendoll back onside", said Eales, unknowingly undoing any progress he had made with the disgruntled Toontastic poster by his use of the phrase "Hail Mary".

No wonder they're still employing Jenas.

Eales going on talksport to announce that Sunderland's owner has licked his arsehole.

"The best way to get over the last one is to get under the next one" - The Wisdom of Hawk Tuah

Is Lascelles still captain of the canteen, do we know?

It's odd for Howe to decide to announce that he's not a starter anymore and strip him of the captaincy. I wouldn't be surprised if he's pissed off at what happened last season where off-field shit of Trippier's own making led to a significant drop off in his on field performances. Not exactly the example you want your captain to set to the rest of the squad. I can also understand Trippier deciding to leave under those circumstances though.

The last thing that girl needs is a national abortion ban.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/football/article-13769129/INSIDE-NEWCASTLE-Transfer-chiefs-confident-snap-target-Marc-Guehi-one-star-left-frustrated-Saints-snub-Eddie-Howe-burger-king.html We're not after Madueke apparently.

Who can we appoint to find out what he's done? Ewerk, you are the closest thing we have to a private investigator on here. Do your thing.

What the FUCK was that. Had he done a Vice Versa body swap with Ross Kemp.

GB News beckons.

PS Congratulations on hitting puberty, Mr Hairy Chest Renton.

This is fucking gross lads.

I'm pleased for Tino too. At times last season, he looked tremendous. Time to invest in him now.

On the contrary, my runneth over.

He leaps like a goldfish. He plays for Cameroon too, so we'd be subject to AFCON disappearances.

Sorry to hear that Strawb. Poor bloke sounds like he's been dealt a very shitty hand by life. I hope your mam is OK, and you too.