Gemmill

For future reference, if Villa get bad decisions, that's fine and we accept them with good grace.

How would you say you lads do with sarcasm?

We don't need centre halfs man, we're absolutely stacked in that area.

Would I but Gomez? He's done nothing to me.

It's. Fucking. MBEUMO. M-B-E-U-M-O You. Thick. Cunts. Also for the last fucking time. He's 5 foot 7. Eddie Howe is not going to sign him. Get his name out of your fucking mouths.

Anyway look, the takeaway here is that I'm great at making bread. I feel like that's in danger of getting lost.

Oof, well make sure if you're fucked all weekend that you take those days back from work, starting Monday.

It sounds like you enjoy cooking a bit more than most.

Ah I saw the trailer for this then forgot about it. Cheers for the reminder.

Ah shitter. Bad one or a light dose?

Lot of jealousy in this thread at the Fabulous Baker Boy's output btw.

It's one of them ones with a lass in a bikini on it so I look like a page 3 stunna while I'm cooking.

Michael Owen's cameos will be like listening to the desk sergeant check you in at the local police station.

How much extra do you think he charges to do one topless?

I've watched the Amazon Prime doc about when him and his pals took Palace over, and he actually comes across as a decent enough bloke in it. Definitely loves himself, but at least in that thing he comes across OK.

The number of breaks Fulham had that didn't end in a chance was nobody's business. They couldn't fashion an opening even when they had men over, the stupid twats. Gordon and Isak won't make those mistakes.

cost of living crisis and big spackas are handing this racist cunt £16k a month to wish their racist mates happy birthday.

I think there's a chance this goes through at the end of the window, if we don't look elsewhere before then. Palace will never get more money for him and he's definitely gonna leave at the end of his contract, so there's a lot of incentive for them to sell now, despite Parish's grandstanding.

Same craic as last season where their midfield just gets entirely bypassed any time Fulham break.

As always. But honestly these don't look like they've moved on much from last season. If I'm a Man United fan sitting through this tonight, I'm wondering about the decision to extend the bloke's contract.

Here come the shopkeeper (Mo-hamm-ed!) Him got a nice faaaace

Man United still look like they're gonna be very leaky this season. If Fulham didnt fall apart any time they got close to the box, they'd be ahead by now.

Only a matter of time before I'm cast in one of these We Buy Any Car adverts.

Neville on co-comms, Keane and Carragher on the studio. The dog fucker and the hockler back and in full effect. Don't worry though, Carragher will be being the surrogate Fulham fan, same as he was when he commentated on the cup final alongside Neville and he was "Geordie for the day".

First shot of THE RAT in the crowd. Sat on his booster seat so he can see the match.