Gemmill

I've mentioned it plenty, you've actually been blacked out the last couple of days rage posting about Paul Mitchell. We've been trying to get your address to have a welfare check done.

cost of living crisis and big spackas are handing this racist cunt £16k a month to wish their racist mates happy birthday.

I'm off to Keswick today. Changed phone provider recently, so have installed the naughty telly on my phone more in hope than anything else. Great to have the season back though. And my fucking stupid ankle is getting better, so I might be legging it around the lake like a gazelle before too long.

I think there's a chance this goes through at the end of the window, if we don't look elsewhere before then. Palace will never get more money for him and he's definitely gonna leave at the end of his contract, so there's a lot of incentive for them to sell now, despite Parish's grandstanding.

Buncie boy has sorted that out. Him and Eddie are top marras now.

Same craic as last season where their midfield just gets entirely bypassed any time Fulham break.

As always. But honestly these don't look like they've moved on much from last season. If I'm a Man United fan sitting through this tonight, I'm wondering about the decision to extend the bloke's contract.

Here come the shopkeeper (Mo-hamm-ed!) Him got a nice faaaace

Man United still look like they're gonna be very leaky this season. If Fulham didnt fall apart any time they got close to the box, they'd be ahead by now.

Only a matter of time before I'm cast in one of these We Buy Any Car adverts.

Neville on co-comms, Keane and Carragher on the studio. The dog fucker and the hockler back and in full effect. Don't worry though, Carragher will be being the surrogate Fulham fan, same as he was when he commentated on the cup final alongside Neville and he was "Geordie for the day".

First shot of THE RAT in the crowd. Sat on his booster seat so he can see the match.

They look like they're missing McClaren to me.

Lineker mentioned Liverpool being interested in his pod today, but I've not seen that anywhere else, and he might have just been trying to get a rise out of Shearer.

HELMET!

If this deal doesn't come off, anyone saying they're relieved or happy because it was too much money is just plain wrong btw. Us not landing a target that the manager and the DOF were both clearly massively keen on is a bad thing. Whoever we go to next is not who they really wanted. Just letting ANY DICKHEADS know in advance how this sort of chat will be met.

We'll see. I find it hard to believe that the Telegraph is really plugged in to this deal.

I'll be amazed if he starts the game for them this weekend. Pretty excited for the season starting up again, especially if it starts with Ten Hag losing tonight.

Bruno laughing at how shit the English lads are at TeqBall is always a highlight on these things.

I think it was a fair question tbh, and I'm pleased it got asked, cos he did chuck a wobbler in the summer and caused a week or two of speculation about his future. And now it seems to all be fine again.

Bunce is day to day, very hands-on, but very impressed with him. Very impressed with Paul, don't see him as much. Enjoying the relationships. "So your initial anxieties have been allayed?" Howe has a bit of a laugh at that one and says so far it's all positive.

"How are the relationships evolving with James Bunce and Paul Mitchell, and are the boundaries set to your satisfaction?" decent from Louise Taylor.

Watching that Howe press conference, and the bloke who's chairing it goes "Now Lee Ryder" and the usual smirk appears on Howe's face. Every time.

Howe seems back to his normal self in that press conference, after his little summer wobbler.

Look at these sexy sourdough loaves that your favourite forum poster is making.