Gemmill

"Is Rob getting the drinks in?" "Aye he's just over at the ba-Ah FFS. Someone go and get him!"

Jermaine PaddockLad.

Changes rung. Forest fixin to get their bell rung.

Must have been that volley.

The NERVE! The VERY nerve!

Did you see Alsopp has been reported to social services for letting her 15 year old kid go euro railing? Some cunt random member of the public must have done it and she's had a call from a social worker to express their concern. She's now on a list.

Hope reckons Sandro is starting.

It was me that wrote it, bitch!

Question from someone calling themselves @sammynb on today's Lineker podcast. Was it you, topknot?

Cue NUFC twitter embarrassing themselves by wondering why we didn't just sign him.

I hadn't realised this was Everton's last season at Goodison. And their last game of the season is 25th May at St James Park. It's written in the stars.

"OK thanks... Yep I'll let them know. Bye." "OK Paul. Darren. I've just spoken to Steve there and...Well....he says you can ram that last offer up your khyber."

We're at the stage where you're ringing the estate agent, trying to get an update on your latest bid.

So sorry to hear that. I hope you're taking her advice.

We need to wait and find out who their Marc Guehi replacement is.

I'm not as sure about this. The intensity they train with these days, I reckon they get a lot more of their fitness from training than playing matches. Contrast with a Bruce where next to none of your fitness would come from training. We'll see though, he might be a mile off it.

Palace have agreed a fee with Wolfsburg for Maxence Lacroix. The jigsaw pieces are falling into place.

When clubs start listing players on ebay and Rightmove, I'm sure you and Gloomy will be the first people Eales calls.

Absolutely scandalous to be bringing your house buying experiences into the thread. I wasted my time getting off twitter when you're coming with that drivel.

By all accounts, we initially went in well short of what they wanted. That's what the first 2 or 3 bids were about - getting us remotely in range of what they wanted. As for comparing it to buying a house. Howay man.

When the asking price exceeds our valuation of the player

If we want the player and the price is still within valuation, don't walk away. People want us to hoy a blob strop and just fuck our number one target off cos Parrish is a bellend. Parrish has always been a bellend.

The "we should have walked away by now" narrative is idiotic BTW. If we only sign players where the selling club bends over for us, we're gonna be buying an awful lot of shite. It started on twitter and it's found its way on here.

Botman was protracted. The bloke where we signed Bruno from was an absolute bellend that strung us along for a bit. I don't think for a second this has been a masterplan. I think the window has been shite and we're once again constrained in what we can spend. But if we get our number one target signed, and if that's all we've got to spend, then that's a qualified success. Qualified because we've got other positions that need strengthening, but that will be one for a future window. We clearly have deprioritised a RW this window because we want Guehi and he's costing too much. If Guehi falls through and we don't have an alternative lined up we've had a straight up shocker. As of right now though, the jury is out. Eales and Mitchell will be fucking desperate for their first window to have a successful outcome. That's for certain.