Gemmill

Aye I just got mine at Tesco. Takes two weeks to take full effect apparently. Should really have done it much sooner.

Hope reckons Longstaff is up for sale in Jan.

Aye half the staff are off at my lass's place. Sounds like it's a bad one this year. Are you doing any better?

I got the flu jab the other day. I don't know why, I never leave the house other than to walk the dog. I'm protected against my lass bringing it home from some wanker pupil though.

Don't worry mate, these two have been giving it this to one another for months now:

Lads, he reckons he's not being cheeky! I can practically HEAR the silent extra question marks.

I would say Gordon, Botman, Bruno and Isak. But it'll depend how Botman comes back from his knee injury.

Fair play to him, I'm 6ft 3.

Fucking cheeky bastard! "Sorry, who are your good players again?!"

"I've had more cockendth than weekendth" would triple your sales.

"Maaaam. Uncle Grimmy has broken into the shed again."

@Christmas Tree how about a "Just drinking my Liquid Death" mug? 50:50 on profits. "Don't mind me... just drinking my Liquid Death" if you want to get a bit cheeky.

£3.59 for her cans of water.

I've noticed this Liquid Death drink turning up on TV shows and some things on YouTube and assumed it was some new energy drink. Just googled it and it's fucking water (natural artesian water if you please). Cans of water. For £4.49 a can. You can get it on Amazon if anyone's interested.

Mad how spectacularly the wheels have come off for them.

Two months out means more like three to four with Wilson too. Real shame cos he's looked sharp.

He's gonna have to give Count Osula some game time, you'd think.

Wilson is fucked again. Two months out with a hamstring problem.

Status Quo mega mix. Like Daft Punk but in ice wash denim, white t shirts, and hi-tecs.

Aye he's getting a bit of coverage online. He's not long retired and this is his new hobby.

If you think you can piss off your neighbours with Wham, you haven't even got started get yourself one of these and start pumping out banging techno like this dude.

He's not gonna go for stopgap money, that's for sure. Hard to say what he'd go for but if I had to guess I'd expect bidding to start at £75m or something. And there'll be others on here who will say that's way too low. Club captain, full Brazil International, proven PL performer who has def gone off the boil but would quickly be back on top in a team like yours.

The players should all put in and give the staff their bonus. And make sure it goes public.

I've yet to put it up on the wall and see how it does as a painting, you fucking big blend!