Dazzler

"The stars are just specks of paint that our alien overlords placed there to fool us into thinking there was more." - Average Rogan guest. "That's crazy. Hey Jamie, pull up that one video of the gorilla lifting a tyre over his head and shitting on the spot." - Joe Rogan.

Basically Andrew Shulz, Shane Gillis, Mark Normand and Andrew Santino are the only ones I can think of who have had any form of success that have been regulars on his podcast and I'd argue in the case of Santino and Gillis it's in spite of their friendship with Rogan. Theo Von too but he's just mental, and when you extrapolate out from his highlight reel on tik tok he's canny shite - I blame Rogan for him. Shulz is one who probably would have made it on his own - he's effectively the American version of that ginger scouse cunt that's everywhere because he does mediocre crowd work. I think they all feel they owe Rogan a debt because he gave them a platform - and outside of his absolute mental opinions I think he's probably a half decent bloke, and a loyal friend but because he smokes too much tac and talks about the moon landings being faked he appeals to the thick and mentally unstable which is also who Trump appeals to.

Unless of course Howe and Ashworth really did hate each other.

I just remembered you were there. It all makes sense now.

He definitely isn't going to Man Utd. If he manages again it'll be another easy win like PSG or Bayern.

No Howe? Good. Cunts.

I sincerely hope Van Nistelrooy does really well just to really turn the knife when he's returned to his assistant role under Southgate.

That was Mark Normand I am sure. I remember seeing it. I am pretty sure on that same episode someone called him a silver hack gorilla too

I think once upon a time he was a bang average stand-up - before his podcast and back when he wasn't playing to the alt-right. He was never worthy of the success he had, but had a load of much more talented comedians to call on as mates to help him. Considering the sharp uptake in his fame was due to him calling out another comedian that was stealing material while someone filmed it - it's hilarious that he's now stealing material from one of his own friends.

Howe's on a spice rattle at about 60 minutes whenever he's not started Longstaff, I think that's definitely what it is.

The commentators were pushing that narrative yesterday. It's a good pass but if our defence wasn't decrepit it would have been snuffed out and been nowt more than a nice idea. It was a bog standard De Bruyne pass - not even a particularly good De Bruyne pass.

Trump has done so much to get in good with Joe Rogan and his bootlickers that he got Tony Hinchcliffe to open at his rally yesterday. Hinchcliffe when on to call Puerto Rico a floating island of garbage in the ocean and then slated the latino community in general - a key target for success in the election. Joe Rogan and his pals already appeal to the "say it like it is" crowd, so was never going to move the needle for them but anyone with sense should have known that getting a shock/roast comic on to open for Trump was a stupid idea. If Trump wins then it's because the general population of their country is made up of a disproportionate amount of half-witted idiots.

On Wednesday he'll do it while his knees and feet are back to front - but it'll just be him telling the physio he's chilly as the shock takes a hold of him.

2-0 Palmer with two own goals, slips on his own drool, breaks both legs and gets melted down for glue on the centre circle.

You say that about Trippier but until his injury he'd very much taken his spot back. I can't help but think that was because Bruno just isn't cutting it with the armband and he wanted more leadership on the pitch because Bruno has pretty much stank the place out since he got that "promotion"

The problem at Bournemouth was his team's inability to defend. He left Bournemouth, spent time with elite coaches and came to us with his improved philosophy that meant we had the best defensive record in Europe (if not the world at the time). The problem is that we no longer have the mean defence, and teams seem to find it far too easy to break on us. It's suicide having Schar and Burn high up the pitch when they both have the turning circle and acceleration of a bin wagon. That's partly on Howe IMO - I get he wanted Guehi to add a bit of pace to our centre back pairing but he didn't get him but has set us up as if we did anyway. He managed to get a tune out of what he had at his disposal once upon a time but now when the system fails it seems like the only answer available is to change the parts and not the system which is a worry for me. I'd love nothing more than him to tweak the set up and turn it around, I'd happily eat that humble pie - but I am not convinced he's going to do that.

I don’t think fucking your mother is legal tbh

Is that direct from the club or a Hopey special? Because that seems insane, surely if we extend his contract we can stretch his amortised transfer fee for another season too so any increase in weekly wage could realistically offset against that. Either that or does MBS have any hotels he can gift us that we can sell him back?

It’s not solely his fault but the more he avoids making tactical changes the more it appears like he’s unable to. It could be that we’re a RW and a quick centre half away from getting back to our best but I think Mitchell may well be networking for his choice of first team coach soon if things don’t turn around. The only thing I think that would avoid that (assuming form doesn’t improve) is that there are literally no managers worth replacing him with at the minute. He may end up in the Ten Hag role of you’ll do because there’s no one else.

He’s not getting to January unless he does something to address the issues with our chance conversion IMO. Another couple of weeks like this and he’ll be gone. As much as I hate to say it.

I feel as though we’ve plateaued recently. We always had an answer at one time but it seems like we’ve been sussed and have no way of changing things up to keep opponents on their toes.

Second bookable offence for nkunku should be off

It’s the like for like subs that get me. It’s not working so swap the players and not try and tweak things. It’s took him until injury time to give the young striker a go