Dazzler

He gave them all away at the metro centre. Howay man, you know this.

Nah it was the equivalent match that Gordon got sent off vs Brighton - that's how scary the comparisons between the two run ups have been.

Glad I didn't make a Busby joke now. Reckon it might have kicked off.

Nah Teslas are cheap plastic shite. Hold a clipper lighter over it for 30 seconds and they'll be able to melt him out of it.

Imaginative enough?

If anyone knows the old gypsy woman from drag me to hell could you give her a buzz and let her know that Salah knocked her back for a mortgage that would be great, cheers.

Musk: Donald, my sales have taken a nose dive since I aligned myself with you. Anything you can do to help? Trump: Sure. I'll publicly announce that I'll buy one of your cars and double down on your previous attacks against your target market. Musk: That'll be great, thanks.

Got Sisu on on Netflix. It was meant to be background noise while I work from home, and I've watched every minute of it so far. John Wick but swap out John Wick for an old, mad Finnish bastard, and replace a dead dog with stolen gold. You also need to swap Russian mafia for the nazis. Fucking mental film.

The sun will be high in the sky, radiating off the top of Slot's massive dome shining a concentration of light onto Salah's weave setting it alight in a blaze of black smoke and toxic fumes. In a panic Salah will sprint into the stands grabbing what he believes is a bottle of Evian from a Geordie supporter in the crowd. He will mistakenly pour the bottle over his flaming hair plugs and will realise too late that the clear liquid inside the bottle is moonshine snuck in to avoid the £20 pints in Wembley. With his entire top half aflame, Salah will recall that the fire brigade used to visit his school and remember the stop, drop and roll technique. Rolling about, screaming as he does this. Allison sees the commotion and sprints over to Salah, palming at the flames with his shovel hands. However, his gloves are highly flammable and combust on contact with Salah. Now both players, engulfed in flame, are put out with a fire extinguisher by "Trent", who is immediately shown a red card for using the black label extinguisher instead of the foam extinguisher like a fucking idiot. With all players off the field the game commences, whereby Newcastle United dominate.....and still lose 2-0.

We still have hope that someone from PSG puts Salah in the hospital tonight and he misses Sunday.

Ban followed by Rents using ChatGPT to knock up a highly offensive mock up of him looking in a mirror at a white rasta?

I'd prefer the cup tbh

They're heading towards a night of long knives soon enough. A night of broken glass to follow that. The place is brutally fucked.

Quick, someone find Gloom and lop his digits off with dog nail clippers and I'll set the match thread up before he can be fitted for prosthetics. In fact, don't bother, we're going to get beat 2-0 regardless and I'd rather preside over the inevitable bounce back.

Technically, that was MF farken with the dates and times of the match threads and he's still here / tending to the people chained up in his sex/murder dungeon.

If we win the cup then Gloom should start every match thread until we lose the next cup final IMO. He's still banned from going to matches though. I think we can all agree on that.

He also confirms that you don't have to be clever to be successful. He's a complete fucktard.

It's only fair that you do it. I'll start the next one when you fuck it on Sunday

That's high for him tbf.

One of them is Peter Kay from the John Smith’s advert. I’ll let you decide which one.