Dazzler

No mess at all. In a seated position your cheeks naturally separate so a little lean and you have access to the starfish. When you're standing your cheeks close together, so you need to whack an extra hand in the mix to spread the cheeks apart, thus increasing the risk of getting shitty fingers. It's more time consuming and unless you bunch the bog roll into a ball and shove it in there there's no guarantee you've cleaned properly. It's like pulling your kegs all the way down to have a standing piss, it's childish, disturbing and quite frankly you all need to grow up and hand your hard drives over to Operation Yewtree for a thorough inspection.

Better across both cheeks (which is easy enough to clean) than all over the bog seat, floor, sink, hands, wall, cistern, flusher, socks, trousers, under-cowies.. and still not fully clean it, so end up with an itchy sheriffs badge for the rest of the day.

Longstaff too. Rarely does he not start. You can pretty much add Gordon to that list now too.

Either do it right or GTFO IMO.

and good luck some days, but mostly bad.

This is a good answer to most, though there are a handful of people on here that will be very disappointed. That said they stand up to wipe their arse so their feelings are irrelevant.

Immediately thought of this

The Germans don't like directing the British to their lands, it rarely ends well for them when we turn up.

and duds full of yesterday's shite because Gemmill is really dropping the ball in his duties as carer. I am starting to think he just likes the pocketing the benefit and the seats at the match in the wheelchair section.

FYP

No, he just talks like he's been chewing wasps.

I hear the Fritzl's still have a dungeon for sale...we all know that's what will happen should he be adopted.

Also, Ashby was available for only a few million quid and was really highly thought of at West Ham. I think he was always going to be one we took a gamble on and if he's good enough great and if not we'll still make a decent profit moving him on in the future.

Without question, yes.

FYP

Then the hotel is going to kick him all over, and @Gemmill is an irresponsible cunt - where are Pearson's flotation devices?

No doubt he got kicked all over by his mam and dad for this video. Also, I assume someone is in the room with him, I reckon he needs water wings to brush his teeth, let alone get in a bath.

Anyone played it yet? It was released on game pass yesterday but I am still enjoying FM23 and thought it best to wait until any bugs have been identified and removed before I switch over.

We're going to be recalling Matty Bondswell from Newport and re-signing Jamie Sterry at this rate.

Or rapey, or paedophilic, or racist, or sexist or Islamophobic or.......

Fuck off, you think I don't know Cruddas Park shopping centre when I see it?

This is Johannesburg Ange: "okihiy lads, thaht wihs a good pihřfořmance tonihyit. Udogihe whaht thihh bloody hall wihs thaht two footihd chollihnge abouht you fuckihng idihot? chřihstihan, you too you fuckihng stupihd twaht. Vihcařiho, whaht a fuckihng pihřfořmance cunht. Shame abouht thihh four goals though. I hope klopp, thihh bloody tuřkihy tiheth wankihr and ařtihta thihh cřyihng lihgo mihhn enjoy my prhrihssihr lads, i'm guhna buřy thihm. Fahkihn' faihr dihnkum cobbihrr."

"Okay lads, that was a good as gold perfawrmance tonight. Udogie wat the bloody root was that two footed challenge about ya fuckin' wally? Christian, you too ya fuckin' stupid wally. Vicahrio, wat a fuckin' perfawrmance cunt. Shame about the bloody fah goals though. I hope klopp, the bloody turkey teeth wankah 'n artetah the bloody sook lego bloke enjoy my pressah lads, i'm garn ta bury them. Fahkin' fair dinkum cobber."

So long as you continue not attending matches we are - Please tell us you are at least 1000 miles from Dortmund this evening otherwise I may as well wash my lucky toon top now (tbh I reckon my family could do with us losing tonight, the top could do with a wash).