Dazzler

Bruno man. What a fanny.

Blatantly getting one back now. Fucking jinx.

12 hours of premier league football since Leicester last scored a goal

Gave the keeper a dead leg on his way. Good man.

She married Jamie Vardy. She chose to marry someone who has a cock and balls and CHOOSES to drink WKD. 100% slag.

When you tell her you’re about to find out a lot about her. If she’s even more outraged at someone being labelled a grass then she 100% had a coke can fringe/orange face/white neck combo going on when she was in her teens.

Both are equally valid tbf

Smith claiming there were a couple of tugs on the shoulder. He obviously doesn’t know what a tug is which explains a lot tbh.

He gave up when he didn’t get Miggy. Final piece of his puzzle for next season’s title challenge.

How did he do in the other 37 games?

No. That was that weird cunt that wanted the denim looking away kit. Do keep up.

He got zero goals last season like so this seems more like a purple patch than anything else

2-0 us. Can’t be fucked to come up with something stupid about the lads being on their holidays. So just 2-0 us.

Beat me to it. Fuck sake.

We did this today as well and then the larger of our two dogs (she’s an 8 stone monster) took the runniest of runny shits on the patio. Cunt did it right under where the clothes were hanging out as well just to make sure it was extra stressful to clean up.

This sucks…..I’ll see myself out.

“It’s really hard being a single mam with fake hair, tits and teeth and working full time as a ‘talent acquisition expert’. Anyway here is a picture of me in Dubai with my chebs out. Please note, my kid was with his grandparents and I was getting my back blown out by a sheik with a Porsche. Happy Monday guys!”

I’ve been on LinkedIn lately looking at jobs and apart from the recruiters with their tits hanging out it’s all just pro-Trump / Farage propaganda. LinkedIn is meant to be a place for educated professionals and it’s just an extension of all other social media now. If it wasn’t the best place for job adverts I’d delete my account.

Don’t get me fucking started.

Where’s that sweet Caroline cunt when you need him?

It would be beautifully ironic if these tech companies set up overseas because of all of this and had to charge Americans the Trump tax to cope with the madman tariffs.

Doesn’t rhyme though. Shite this. You should feel bad tbh.