Dazzler

Number 5 is the faecal equivalent of the thinker. I offer you "the stinker" for consideration.

I only have little legs. Hope this helps clear things up.

Number 7. I like to shit on the back of the big seat and push it into the pot with the kids' toothbrushes.

That and the fact that both sides of the Brexit spectrum think he's a prick so he'd never win a general election anyway.

Or sausage superstition. Perhaps people are afraid of hoying sausages about since we lost the last match. Either way they need to grow the fuck up.

Aye exactly. Poor Man Utd whose second string cost more than our entire squad. I can't believe they've lost a massive 9 players to injury, they must feel so hard done by. Also: Newcastle are shit, they lost to Bournemouth. Hahahaha what a shit team, hahahaha. It's fine though. We'll have a couple back after the internationals and we'll batter Chelsea and Ten Slag will go on a "shpiral" and blame his injuries when he gets the bullet and is replaced by Rooney (who can't even buy a win with Birmingham).

All three horrific choices when you're trying to win back voters. Johnson (somehow) is the lesser of the evils, but the COVID shit has ruined him, he's lost his Trumpish aura. The other two will be fucking hilarious to witness. Tories will sink to irrelevance with either of them two hate filled twats at the helm. It's common knowledge that elections are won near the centre, so trust the Tories to double down and go even more to the right. Someone like Cameron (not him like) is what they need to win back some of the centrist voters, but they are too stupid to realise it.

Awful lack of sausages on here so far. Sort it out.

Those bottom three barely kick a ball for them (I don't think). Casemiro is normally suspended anyways. Luke Shaw is always injured. I don't think many of these should count tbh

Rt Hon. Mrs. Euphegenia Doubtfire MP

He's been manager for a lot longer than that, and has never picked on form.

Ms G just had a bairn so she's still recovering. She'd have to dislodge her jaw to service the entire team.

Definitely has his feet on the bog seat and squats to wipe. Occasionally sprays the cistern with a misjudged fart. Never cleans the cistern as it's 'a birds job'

Thick cunts most likely which makes them the most dangerous, as they just tear into things without the slightest bit of critical thinking. When I hear or read something I don't understand, the first thing I do is look it up and see if it helps my understanding. Plus then I always look at the other side, because the idea of having opinions based on one side of an argument/story gives me palpitations. Some divvies just trust what their friend says, who may be equally as thick or have ulterior motives - at the end of every chain is always a completely wankerish psychopath with an axe to grind against something or someone. All it takes is a second to Google something and realise the impact it might have if you start spewing it about without consideration. Especially, when you consider the implication that something like 'from the river to the sea' has in relation to the Jewish in Israel. These people are too fucking thick to realise that by tearing head first into a pro-Palestine march / chants in the name of humanitarianism (in most cases I'm sure), that you're dehumanising the other side of the conflict. I understand the sentiment, and agree that innocent Palestinians should be free to live their lives safely and comfortably, but I also believe the same for the innocent Israelis that are being dragged into this just as much as the Palestinians.

Fuck, someone beat me to it by half an hour

Only one man for the job

Well that's just incendiary language and I fully support it.

I'm sat watching what we do in the shadows to get over the match. If you haven't seen it you absolutely should. The film is great, but the series is even better. Anything with Matt Berry is pretty much nailed on to be mint IMO.

Except when he tried to end Lejeune's (I think) career. Not the first time he'd done that either. He's a boring cunt off the pitch but a complete dirty bastard on it.

Should have let Trippier give him a slap. It was a shit performance, but it's not like we were blessed with game changers on the bench.

It would be a longer suspension if he was on tonight. Straight red for knifing some cunt after this performance.

Are they kicking these extra balls on the pitch on purpose? Happening way too fucking often.