Dazzler

I found this difficult to masturbate to. I still managed, but it was difficult.

Shut up Jenas, get fucking Ten Hag out for the excuses so I can have a joyous tug.

Leave the window open, the cold might make your sperm more dormant buying you a few extra seconds, and a marginal reduction in shame.

Best minute and a half of her weekend.

So Gloom must have gone home at half time. It's the only explanation that makes sense.

Maguire and Luke Shaw centre back pairing for them to protect Onana. Fucking hell

Guirassy is a fucking beast, I hope there is legs in this one. Though, usually if it's on twitter this soon it almost never happens.

Looks like he's seen a right piece of totty whilst visiting a crèche.

I'll be joining an EDL march later in tribute to El Pedro.

Who the fuck let you out? I've been busting for a shit for 12 hours.

Listen to your gut, it's not often it says something other than it's been 20 minutes since you had some biscuits.

I hate to say it but my gut tells me Botman is out for the season.

Mbappe's

"Ah say, ah say how's the fried chicken did ya say, ah say, ah say?"

Almiron had a great game, but to suggest he was better than Bruno and especially Pope suggests they watched 5 minutes of highlights and not the entire game. Miley was also better than every one of his PSG counterparts. Ridiculous scoring.

The same Republicans who are pushing project 2025 which will effectively hand over the power of everything to the president directly, with zero checks and balances

6-0 - Isak to score two, Gordon to score two, and the ghost of Beardsley's reputation to turn up, mutter some islamaphobic obscenities and notch the final two.

That's a ridiculously high stat that mind - Man Utd obviously takes one of the spots with Greenwood and Antony both publicly being investigated for abuse. Filthy Gylfi was another one - so Everton is another we already know about. So 25% of the clubs have had potential perverts on the books in some capacity that hasn't become public knowledge.

"Blah blah blah Saudi Arabia and war crimes. Blah blah blah human rights. Oh by the way have you seen these beautiful photos of me at the world cup? Where was it? Not important, mate."

The necessary response to any mackems who suddenly want to talk about champions league football tomorrow at the kettle

Normally you have one jobs worth telling you why the ref made the decision and why it's correct. It goes to show you how fucked it was when everyone is in universal agreement (with the exception of the RTG board who'll be wanking to a blackout state)

Anyone else getting the sound cut off by the sound of someone shaving their bollocks?

Is there a better pundit than McCoist? He's fucking mint, and for an ex-mackem too. Howe is struggling not to call the ref a prick. Unbelievably professional.

I noticed they didn't ask him about the pen. Because every fucker knows it should never have been given.

Mbappe speaks better English than Miggy.