Dazzler

He's a bit old for the Dortmund model, though there is no doubting his ability to put the ball in the net. I'd fucking love him here, but I'd wager we're third in that list if he's got to choose just based on club size and history.

They probably scale their prices depending on the size of the club they play. I wouldn't be surprised if it was more expensive for the home tickets too. It's their cup final, you know marra!

The chronicle are saying Longstaff and Gordon were just rested ahead of tomorrows match.

Howe has said Dubravka's fitness is "currently unclear". "Not sure" on any players returning from injury tomorrow "You can read into it whatever you want... [Gordon, Dubravka & Longstaff missing from training] - We're two days after a game so we're trying to manage players. We'll see who's fit for tomorrow." As ever, I am not sure what to make of this

Aye but when did you last wave your willy?

I wouldn't mind trying ayahuasca or DMT now tbh. Pretty much everyone that I've seen comment on the stuff says it can be life changing - proper third eye shit. Apparently, some dealers are doing DMT vape pens these days

It looks like the shadow of a man with a winnet dangling off a very long arse hair now.

BBC is saying Burn will be back on the bench for the weekend's game, so I think it's unlikely we'll see him tomorrow but there is hope!

Aye, not many of those players have been even remotely successful so far - if any. Mudryk looks like one of the worst signings in PL history in terms of value at this point and that Argentinian lad they spunked £100m on is still trying to find his way out of Miley's pocket.

Who the fuck is NUEG?

Go out on a fear and loathing style road trip, I like it.

Just checked and he's said they aren't anymore (as of March this year) as he'd started his pro licence course.

Just the one penis. Three balls though, but I think that's normal.

Yes. Yes you are. 3 nipples and two cleavages > 2 nips and one cleavage. Two fannies over one though, now there's a debate.

Definitely - Palace in particular I'd think - Forest should be safe from relegation as the bottom three currently are awful, but the same may not be true next season. I'd even hazard a guess the West Ham fans will eventually turn on Moyes because the football isn't easy enough on the eye for them (like they did with fat Sam) and that would be far more attractive than Sunderland. There are some half decent, young managers in the championship/league one at the minute that would be a good fit for them that they could realistically poach that could work within their imaginary model, but somehow Still is who they are harping on about and it just doesn't seem realistic to me. It's the equivalent of us saying we'd pie off Howe and thinking we could easily bring someone like Simeone in. I hope it's Heckinbottom though, mind you. That would be the best outcome for us - we could do with another 8-0 win on the road to get our confidence back

Aye, he could be being straight up or he could mean that he's still getting his kit on and will be out shortly.

We're all bad parents doing the best we can! My dad let me watch Total Recall as a young kid which was a gore fest, and had a woman in it with three tits and I turned out fine, okay not fine, but okay - well not okay either tbh, but in short I'm a shit dad. What were we talking about again?

Aye McCoist is great. Of all the current commentators and pundits he's my favourite. He never takes favourites, and basically passes on the information of what he's seeing in a way that any normal fan of the game would. I think Neville is the better of Sky pundit/commentators as he can put his personal feelings aside and talk about what he's witnessing. Carragher is the complete opposite. However, I do like those two together in the studio. Keane is a fucking dickhead, but it's funny watching his outbursts whenever he's on pundit duties for Man Utd, plus him and Micah Richards have been an interesting pairing as Richards is clearly a wind up merchant, and loves to get under Keane's skin during games.

That makes sense but considering not many go out without leaving much to benefit from I think for the majority this would come down to their own decision, and whether they are of sound mind to make it. I think if a millionaire/billionaire gets a terminal illness and wishes to use the service they'd just fuck off to Switzerland to do it anyway. However, for those middlest of classes caught in between the have a lots and the have nots, a bit of due diligence from the doctors wouldn't go amiss.

I thought Burn was out until late Jan with Murphy? It was the rest that were due back by the end of December. I hope the rumours are true like, we desperately need him back in the squad. I was thinking the other day that Longstaff and Wilson were sort of surprises at the weekend, so I wouldn't be as surprised to see Barnes and Botman on the bench for Milan, since they were the two we've been told are closest to coming back. I'm going to wank myself into a coma the day I see a squad list that doesn't include multiple goalies on the bench.

We can only take three players on loan, I believe - I think the max is 4 and we already have Hall (though I think a mandatory future transfer may change that). Three or four should be enough, but it would be nice to get in some actual transfers that will be here beyond the end of the season.

Sorry to hear this about your dad, no-one should ever have to suffer like that. Initially I thought maybe it's the Royal family and the fact that they are a bunch of bible bashing fucktards, who'd put pressure on government to prevent this sort of thing. However, if it's practised down under then I'm probably wrong in that, so can't understand why it isn't something we do here. Surely, it's a bit of a win win for the NHS, and the people who wish to use the service. The burden on the NHS in terms of treatments, and number of long term patients would reduce, as would waiting lists etc - and the people with terminal illness can go out on their own terms, peacefully, without pain and without prolonging the misery for them and their families.