Kitman

Might not be a bad thing if this Anal Ambarmy buys us.....an upgrade in billionaire, plenty of money for transfers.......Kingfisher and curry pies in Shearers Bar......and maybe with a bit of imagination we could go even further: Taj Mahal styling added to the ground, lepers begging outside, police on elephants on match day, some ritual burnings before the match to liven things up. If Oliver puts a foot wrong we send the thugees round to feed him his balls. But the main thing is we shouldn't get carried away with cultural sterotyping

What I find unfair is that we'll be penalised for his actions as a Man City player 15 months ago. He brought the game into disrepute as a Man City player, yet we suffer the consequences. Perhaps it would be fair enough if they'd brought charges at the time, suspended pending the outcome of the trial, but this seems to have come out of the blue (no pun intended). Edit: Now they're talking about a 15 game ban in the press! Ye Gods!

Is she a mackem or a smoggie? a fat c*nt, apparently Doesn't narrow it down really

I think Stevie's safe from being quoted if they're not allowed to print the word cunt repeatedly

The mad always have a motif ie the parrot thing. Legend. Joey: "Did you fucking shit in me shoes, like?" Gazza grins Parrot: "Fuck off Joey" Joey: "Come 'ed, you did, didn't you?" Gazza stands on one leg Parrot: "Fuck off Joey" Joey emits primal scream Terry Mac calls for police and ambulance

The more I think about it, the more I like the idea of giving Gazza a coaching role. Imagine the craic. Joey goes out for a day's training, when he comes back he finds Gazza's done a shit in his shoe. Just for a laugh. When he goes to confront him he finds Gazza butt naked with a toy parrot under each armpit telling him to fuck off. Imagine the effect on morale

Clearly section him for life! It's not clear whether Gazza or the parrots were swearing. If it's the latter I find that quite funny

did you not see that in the news at the time? http://www.express.co.uk/posts/view/35742/...es-of-raw-liver Nope, thanks for that. Now I honestly tried not to laugh knowing he's mentally ill, but really that's hilarious . That's how I imagine Parky spends his holidays

He was playing for Rangers at the time and trying to wind up their arch-rival's fans, I really don't think he meant anything by it. Yes sectarianism tends to wind people up, like andy goram wearing the black armband (same match i think) and when David Healy did the flute bit the other week against celtic Fuck the flute. Over sensitive jock/Irish cunts. The fact is Paul Gascoigne gave a lot to this football club, he gave us 2m when it was a lot of money, and he gave young kids like me memories which we could take to the grave. Gazza is a special case to me, we should accommodate him, he needs this as a way of stabilising his life, and it could be as good for him as it could for someone else. He was always talking on a pitch, he had incredible vision, if he could pass 1% of that on then it's a worthwhile exercise. I can understand how people who had nothing to do with this club little over 10 years ago could be cycnical though. We should help him out a little if we can. It's actually close to a life and death scenario imo. He needs an outlet, he still has bags of enthusiasm for the game. I still can't get past the naked wii tennis thing. I think I'm traumatised.

you left out wifebeater and indeed as much as i think the lad needs help the last thing we need is more bad publicity if he falls of the wagon gets hammered and decides to play naked wii tennis in a hotel somewhere while trying to coax people in for a game now there's an enduring image

Is she a mackem or a smoggie?

Difficult to see what he'd add. We've already got Terry Mac to wear plastic tits and pull silly faces

Seems a lot of money to me for Keane. Anyway, all of that's a side issue. The really important question is whether Keane's goal celebration is the worst in the Prem and possibly the entire world? A combination of crappy movements into one great big crappy & embarrassing whole....the sort of thing you do with your trousers round your ankles when you've had a few too many. And all yours for 20 mill

I think most people are familiar with the concept. It's more a question of what the fuck Wise actually does. I can't recall seeing much evidence of the vision being put into practice. Yet. Of course it's early days, and I'll be honest I'm more interested in the first team than what goes on behind the scenes.

If he doesn't deliver this summer would you keep him? Only if I knew what it is that he actually does. The suspicion remains he's really a spare manager

Results are all that count. If he gets in some quality players then he's met expectation. If he doesn't then he's the same irritating little wanky gobshite he always was as far as I'm concerned. I'm not sure what the point of him is if he's not helping to improve our first team.

I reckon he'll be fine man. Those Argies like a bit of rough and tumble. They like it up 'em?

Marcelino was a cracking player in Spain too

I like Billy Furious, he's usually pretty entertaining. I got his 'Quest for the Intertoto' as a prezzie, it's perfect reading material for the smallest room in the house

Do you mean the natives are revolting?

Is that below average height for a keeper in the Prem, I wonder? I suppose it's about presence not height anyway......

What happened to that Gemmill fella? He was pretty good, wasn't he? * Grabs coat and runs for the exit *

aye he's a small keeper (well he's supposedly 6ft1, but i didn't think he was near that tbh) Taylors 6"2 and looks a fair bit bigger I think he was standing on tippy-toe when they did the measuring

I enjoyed it on balance...I think it got better as it went on....the first few paras seemed to me largely based on speculation