Kitman

He lives in Hamburg. Nobody would bat an eyelid. Parky's a hamburger? I can well believe it

Will you be transferring this to a placard and waving it at the good burghers of your local German town? Wild eyed and dishevelled, hair matted and beard uncombed, I give you 30 minutes of ranting that the end of the world is nigh before you're arrested. Of course if you wore trousers occasionally they might take your message more seriously

Much as it pains me I think a lot of that article is spot on and quite well written. I'd personally agree with the Keegan comment too unless someone can direct me to a time he has suceeded without money (barring his very early days as a manager here which is now irrelevant). I agree with you Renton, I thought there wasn't a lot in the article to disagree with

As Paul Merton once said, the Pope has a killer's eyes. Therefore you shouldn't trust a single thing he says, it's not motivated by goodness.

She looks like she's got the wrong flag on. Ask her for a number 47 if you find her. She looks like Lana Lang from Smallville, thats why I want her. Want her bad. For sex. I want to have sex with her. In case you did not get that. And here's how you'd look together

Taylor says "Blah blah blah......can't let the fans down.....blah blah.....not too good to go down....... blah blah.......long hard look at ourselves........blah blah........every match is like a cup final........blah blah....shouldn't be in this position......blah blah"

These gravy trainers never fail to state the obvious, do they? Being massively overweight is bad for you and could shorten your life? Who'd have thought? We should have a lengthy and expensive scientific study on that just to be sure......

Yes. Which usually involves ridiculous plot lines culminating in hardened criminals caving in and confessing everything when confronted with improbable evidence. In between lots of overacting and posturing from the heavily made up, and in some cases surgically enhanced, cast. All glossed over with flashy editing, close ups and lengthy and tedious procedures made to look like hey presto magic tricks. It's mint, basically.

The idea is that it would encourage overtaking. I don't think the drivers aren't overtaking because they don't want to, its because its bloody difficult in modern-era F1. True, but the idea is (and it's not Fop's idea - if Bernie listened to Fop, they'd have limited Nitrous back in and blades on the wheels ) that a driver will not risk an overtaking manoeuvre when when coming 2nd or 3rd or whatever will do - which is pretty true, whether it's the best solution . Kitman likes your suggestions. Kitman thinks that if they introduce these, plus mounting a whale harpoon on the front of the cars, F1 might actually be worth watching for a change.

This nanny stuff is ridiculous. Adults should be allowed to indulge whatever vice they want whenever they want. Exactly. The whole point of vices is they are bad for you. It's what being an adult is all about. Instead you get some jumped up Colonel Bufton-Tufton type telling you what's good for you. Every time one of these spokesmen appears on the telly they should be pelted with rotten fruit and sent packing like the humbugs and hypcrites they are. Pack the fuckers off to N.Z. Maybe NZ could reform them. They don't like whingers here.

Except none of us will be singing "You're the one for me, fatty"

If he's a championship standard striker it would be fair to say - for a lad that has scored at Camp Nou in the Champions League - that he has overachieved. More like he's won the bloody lottery

No. The point was why, with the players who pull on the jersey, are getting turned over by really crap teams such as Hull and West Brom. It was raised with one eye on the fact that Ashley, Hughton or Kinnear will have no effect on what happens next, only the eleven on the pitch. Ive said it before but I dont think we'd be in this position if a "leader / shouter" was in midfield giving out the arse kickings. This happens in most games everywhere be it the prem or Sunday league, yet doesnt happen at the toon. This is why I think JB will save our season. I see your point. But the players should take to the pitch fit, motivated and with a good idea of what they're supposed to be doing as individuals and as a team. That's down to the coaches and management. From what I've seen this hasn't been the case this season. They cross the touchline and usually look like they haven't got a clue, and it doesn't seem to bother most of them either.

I've become immune to the wafflings of players in the press. It's always the same - "we know we've let our marvellous fans down, next time it will be different, there's a great spirit in the camp etc etc" - and it changes absolutely nothing. If you'd listened to Ameobi's interviews over the years you'd have thought he was a world beater, not an underachieving championship standard striker. Shut up and get it done on the pitch, says I. If the players aren't giving a 100% it's down to those players to pull their finger out, and it's down to the management to drop them, motivate them or sell them.

This nanny stuff is ridiculous. Adults should be allowed to indulge whatever vice they want whenever they want. Exactly. The whole point of vices is they are bad for you. It's what being an adult is all about. Instead you get some jumped up Colonel Bufton-Tufton type telling you what's good for you. Every time one of these spokesmen appears on the telly they should be pelted with rotten fruit and sent packing like the humbugs and hypcrites they are.

You might have to round it up to 50p if you want to buy Sunderland

I think that there are a few folk who are petrified Ashley will 'chuck his hand in' and walk away from Newcastle United, thus putting us into financial/league status/existance meltdown. The same deluded folk see NUSC as the catalyst if the above happens. I just don't understand that viewpoint. Businessmen like Ashley just don't operate like that. At best they're a lobby group, they won't influence his plans for his shareholding one iota. Personally I think he sees them as an irritation, if he notices them at all. The idea that they could 'get to him', whilst flattering for the NUSC, is totally misconceived imo. He'll do what he likes and go when he likes, and it's bugger all to do with the NUSC. I agree completely. I just feel a few folk think otherwise. Aye, I know. Sorry if it came across otherwise.

Grrrrr. I bet Sir Liam Donaldson is like Father Jack Hackett behind closed doors, the difference being that he can afford to pickle his kidneys with top quality continental booze. 'Passive drinking'? What a load of shizzle. Are we meant to be absorbing large quantities of alcohol in the home through osmosis or something? It's a meaningless sound bite, no doubt dreamt up in the gents' club over a large brandy and a cigar...... People like Sir Liam are professional miseries, sermonising and preaching against every one of life's pleasures, tarring everyone with the same brush of excess. And stupid lazy journalists dole out this crapola so they don't have to go and out and find real news to write about. So we all get bombarded with useless information, which comprises the latest medical fad dreamt up by lunatics on the research gravy train and which is usually discredited at a later date. This of course makes not the slightest difference to our behaviour but manages to add to the general air of hypochondria and depression that seems to permanently hang over the British media. No doubt he feels the job of pissing in people's ashtrays is done so he can get on with spitting in their drinks. After that he'll shit on their monosaturated fish and chips. And him and his ilk will keep on bitching and moaning until we all live long, miserable joyless lives, stuffed into run down retirement homes where we can be filled with low fat tranquillisers and left to rot in our own shit. Great. Bastard.

It gets lonely out on the farm with just your tractor for company. They should have gone for Xisco, he'd have made a better poster boy for a stout Suffolk yeoman.

I think that there are a few folk who are petrified Ashley will 'chuck his hand in' and walk away from Newcastle United, thus putting us into financial/league status/existance meltdown. The same deluded folk see NUSC as the catalyst if the above happens. I just don't understand that viewpoint. Businessmen like Ashley just don't operate like that. At best they're a lobby group, they won't influence his plans for his shareholding one iota. Personally I think he sees them as an irritation, if he notices them at all. The idea that they could 'get to him', whilst flattering for the NUSC, is totally misconceived imo. He'll do what he likes and go when he likes, and it's bugger all to do with the NUSC.

I find it strange some people seem to blame our current woes on the NUSC. As AcrossthePond eloquently states, the current mess is down to Ashley and his officers and no-one else. I've got nothing whatsoever to do with the NUSC, and I'm gutted about the state of the club. Am I to blame for the situation if I complain about it too?

Peasepud or Duffer?

True, but when Ashley was sounding him out about the job up here there wasnt a lot of us who had a good word to say about him....... If only we could wind the clock back then. I'd have hated Redknapp at the time because I don't think he'd be a long term appointment, he's something of a chequebook manager in my eyes and a bullshitter, and would be on his toes the moment he got a better offer from a Southern team. He's also extravagantly ugly, looking like a wax caricature that's been melting by the fire. Now I'd have him at the club in a flash. At least he has a clue what he's doing. He was in a near-fatal car crash which left him disfigured tbf (about 4 people were killed iirc). I was being a little tongue in cheek. It doesn't make him any less ugly though

Does he have his toy parrots with him to answer the questions? Otherwise I'm not bothering.

The public health authority never tires of telling people what to do and how to live their lives. The British government never tires of making laws against things and taxing ordinary citizens for their own good. Meanwhile criminals will smuggle in cheap booze and the people who apparently have to be protected from themselves will buy it. The rest of the law abiding populace who don't end the evening in a puddle of their own piss will however have to pay. And the extra money will go to finance Britain's miriad foreign policy failures and military overspending. Wish I still lived in the UK.