Kitman

No doubt there'll be some attractive women who need to be carefully photographed by council employees. Just to make sure they don't shit on the pavement. Better safe than sorry.

Yes. If you're going to trample on someone's rights you might as well be upfront about it Snooping, stealth taxes and pointless wars - Labour's legacy to the nation. And nervous dogs

I bet Dave Whelan has his own washroom & toilet. That's obviously his idea of classy ownership - them and us. I couldn't care less what Ashley wears, it's how he's behaved that bothers me. And for someone who's basically named the stadium after himself to accuse someone else of lacking class is staggering. Imagine if Shepherd had named SJP the SO stadium?

From the Beeb: Councils in England and Wales have used controversial spying laws 10,000 times in the past five years, figures obtained by the Liberal Democrats show. The Regulation of Investigatory Powers Act (Ripa) was meant to fight terrorism and serious crime. But officials have been using it to spy on suspected dog fouling, littering and other minor offences. The government has promised curbs on its use but the Lib Dems warn it could still become a "snoopers' charter". The figures, obtained under the Freedom of Information Act, reveal for the first time how widespread the use of Ripa is among council officials in England and Wales. A survey of more than 180 local authorities found: • 1,615 council staff have the power to authorise the use of Ripa. • 21% (or 340) of these staff are below senior management grade. • Ripa powers have been used 10,333 times in the last five years. • Just 9% of these authorisations have led to a successful prosecution, caution or fixed-penalty notice The Lib Dems are calling on the government to ensure that Ripa powers are only used where strictly necessary and that their use is sanctioned by magistrates. New guidelines The party's local government spokesman Julia Goldsworthy said: "This government has seen civil liberties as little more than a temporary inconvenience. "Slowly but surely freedoms have been eroded and we're now in a situation where dog fouling is considered sufficient to warrant surveillance by council officials. "When Ripa was passed only nine organisations, including the police and security services, were allowed to use it. Now a total of 795 bodies including all 475 local authorities can use powers that were originally designed to prevent terrorism." The government is planning to issue new guidelines to councils on the use of Ripa. In November, Home Secretary Jacqui Smith said it should not be used to snoop on people suspected of minor offences such as dog fouling or putting out rubbish on the wrong day. But she defended councils' right to use the powers against suspected rogue traders or fly-tippers. Ms Smith wants applications for the use of Ripa to go to the top of organisations, such as the chief executive of a council rather than the head of trading standards or environmental health. The Conservatives say they would restrict the use of Ripa powers by local authorities only to crimes which could lead to a prison sentence. Local councils would also require judicial approval for the use of surveillance powers and council leaders would have to sign off each use of the powers, under Tory proposals. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A perfect illustration, if one were needed, of why you can't trust organisations with sweeping powers. They just can't help abusing them for whatever floats their boat.

He talks a load of crepe these days

He has a tiresome agenda, aye

Sadly I don't think he'll be missed when he inevitably goes at the end of the season. It's a real shame but he's never earned his money imo. He put England ahead of us (as he had every right to do) and we paid the price for it.

giz the job I tend to load up frozen pizza's with more olive oil, crushed garlic, chilli and spread a copious layer of spag bog sauce on for good measure. One would stop JK's heart in 10 secs. Parky - heart of a lion, gut of a rhinoceros

Do you think if my mam knits him a nice warm black and white scarf, it might just rescue our season?

Aha the club insider. aka Terry Venables perhaps.

I'm sure Jade, Gawd bless 'er, is delighted with how it all turned out. It's just what she wanted - non-stop attention, canonisation and front page on OK magazine. The dying thing is a bit of drawback given that it will curtail her future appearances but, hey, she's got the coverage that deep down she knew she deserved because, really, she's a special person and that needed to be recognised. Of course, if a mentally ill person drops their trousers on the bus and says "Hahar look at my boner!" nobody thinks that's worth a twenty page spread in OK magazine and big cheque. When a terminally loud mouthed racist charver indulges in the same sort of self centred attention seeking behaviour that 3 years old generally grow out of, we're all supposed to shed a tear. Do me a favour

El no o I think Que?

What's the Spanish for no?

The joke is I bet Ashley/Llambias reckon if only JFK comes back, we'll be OK. Personally I don't think it'll make any difference to us but could have serious implications for him. The best thing he could do is to call it a day and go and sit on a beach a long way away till the season's over. We need some massive luck and massive effort to get out of jail, the first comes from the Good Lord/Fate/Karma/Lady Luck and the second from the players. Joe effin' and blindin' in the dug out and giving himself a beetroot faced coronary won't change a thing imo.

I honestly think they were totally complacent about staying up (just like they were complacent about season ticket renewals). I picture Dennis Wise as Wormtongue from Lord of the Rings, cooing reassuringly in Ashley's ear as we drift down the table and the club decays. Otherwise I don't get how they could look at the crud that's been served up week after week since Keegan left and not expected to be where we are now. It's no surprise to me, and I'm sure it isn't for anybody who's followed us consistently. The only surprise is the faith shown to the current se-up which ignores all evidence to the contrary. I don't blame Hughton or Calderwood by the way, they may be decent coaches; it's the failure to replace the stopgap manager, even in the face of serious heart complaint, or to spend money in January that said to me the nitwits at the top have absolutely no clue how serious our predicament was/is. It may be dawning on them now but it's too late.

Don't rate the wig either.

Dodgy ticker. Since when has being an old cantakerous medically challenged know-nowt bastard been a drawback for us? I give you Souness, Kinnear and whichever other resident of the Sunnyside Football Managers Resthome cares to apply in future. In fact no application necessary, wee Dennis will hunt them out. Souness had a heart attack as well didn't he? Not sure, I think he had open heart surgery though which saved his life. And gave him the strength to destroy our football club. I assume the surgeon was a mackem.

My heartfelt tribute: So farewell then Jade Not oldie and not Goody I thank you.

The story is from a credible newspaper based on reports from credible sources. The accounts match the widely reported anecdotes of indiscriminate butchery of women and children on the ground at the time. But hats off to the international conspiracy of communists and anti-semites for doing such a thorough job on a respected British newspaper.

Bates, a more unlikeable chairman would be very hard to find. Face like a baboon's backside as well.

Dodgy ticker. Since when has being an old cantakerous medically challenged know-nowt bastard been a drawback for us? I give you Souness, Kinnear and whichever other resident of the Sunnyside Football Managers Resthome cares to apply in future. In fact no application necessary, wee Dennis will hunt them out.

As a whole we probably have a better idea of everything. FYP

Joe shouldn't come back for his own health and for the good of the club. This seems obvious to most people I think. The only thing that worries me is who'd they get in next......just when you think things can't get worse, they've risen magnificently to the challenge of fucking it up further. I might put a fiver on Howard Wilkinson....

I've long since accepted our fate. The Board's refusal to replace Kinnear tells me all I need to know about their grasp on reality. According to LLambias you only get relegated if you consider it's a possibility