Kitman

I've never economised on bog paper. I put this down to years of using the waterproof sandpaper provided at school. I recall having a dump 'al fresco' in the woods when I was about 9 years old. It was a case of being caught short at the time but was strangely enjoyable. However as leaves were the only toilet paper available, I wasn't minded to repeat the experience.

I wonder why he's dies so young. Congenital heart defect or drug abuse?

I'm not happy he's dead but I hated his music tbh. Growing up I couldn't escape Thriller, it was bloody everywhere being played to death, like Bat Out of Hell. With the exception of Living Off the Wall and the Jackson 5, I thought his stuff was gash. Then there was the stuff with the kids, his ridiculous plastic surgery and the platitudes about 'the man in the mirror' and saving the planet etc. I realise I'm out of step here with most of the population and will be panned for bad mouthing the dead. He was undoubtedly a pivotal figure in pop culture in over three decades, a massive influence and a great talent. But I didn't like him at all, and wouldn't have minded if he hadn't recorded a single note after about 1975.

recycle in plastic Maybe they'll just shove him in a recycling bin out the back with his feet sticking out? Shamone!

Will no-one think of the children?

There's no call for that, no matter how bad they are

So true.......they vilified him when he was alive and are now morning his passing. Aye, just like the peoples princess Jade He was a successful artist but he's no Jade Goody * God Bless you Ma'am *

Bah!

White bread, due to a genetic condition

* Fingers crotch and twirls on the spot *

to be fair there was probably only about 60% of the original Michael Jackson left anyway

Deed or not? Where's the reportage, people?

May I be the first to post an ode in his honour So farewell then Michael, it's come to a stop For the boy who wanted to never grow up You sang and you danced and sold records to millions And who can forget what you did to for the children

No more living off the wall then

Is he dead then? News sources just seem to be saying rushed to hospital

Christ, who's going to break it to Bubbles?

Move along, move along, nothing to see here.

An ode in honour of her passing Farewell then Farrah, your time has come You were an Angel, and now you are one You had anal cancer, it's sad and it's shameful Cos I never imagined that you ever did anal RIP

I'm starting to get into that mode now. I hate to be overly cynical and Parkyish but there's a whiff of piss-taking and conspiracy about the whole thing. I expect Hughton to lead us out against West Brom with our second string playing. I remember a time not so long ago when I used to be positive. There's no staying frosty anymore bud, Ashley's killed the spirit of everyone. Nonsense, we haven't kicked a ball in anger yet. Never surrender. It's always darkest before dawn. We shall overcome. And any other cliche I can think of. But seriously, there's an end of empire feel to all of this......I think Ashley's going and will be gone soon. I will keep on hoping.

laugh at mine you bastard, you must Rest assured they both got the same hearing

Number 23 in the Parky '101 Ways to Get Out of Jail' guidebook Number 1 is saying "I did not have sexual relations with that woman" over and over again. Not foolproof apparently.

To be fair, pissing on people's chips is more his speciality

Very sorry to hear about that, hope it doesn't ruin the day too much. Scumbags the lot of 'em.

Useful if you get Alzheimers I suppose. You should suggest he goes the whole hog and has his name, address, important birthdays, passwords and PIN code tattoed on there as well. There's plenty of room. Been watching Memento? No, is it worth watching?