Kitman

"That's the lampost they threatened to hang me from after the Keegan fiasco." That LLambias tour in full: 10 am. Training ground. Comments by Llambias: "Yes, we own this land. You could sell it off for housing." "Those are the players over there. Don't worry they'll all be gone by August. Except that bald ginger fella, he'll be the manager. " 10 am. St James's Park. Comments by Llambias: "Unfortunately we don't own the land. You can't sell it off for housing." "See that car park over there? I reckon you could build a nice casino on there if you could get a licence. Or maybe some houses." "Running the football side of things is easy. The punters turn up every week regardless. It's just like running a casino." "There's plenty of office space here, there are no employees or anything like that. You could lease the surplus space and make a bit of money. Or start a casino, if you can get a licence." "Right that concludes the tour. Anyone for lunch? You fellas probably fancy a chinky, eh?"

They probably heard we play on a Satay-day and saw an opportunity

Why thank you

imo it's getting to the point where it doesn't matter who takes over the club, the season will be a write-off anyway. This whole thing is typical of the idiots who've wrecked our club; all we need to complete the picture is for the club to be taken off the market and a press release from Ashley saying he's now committed to taking the club 'forward'. Again.

They had to do it by letter in the end. The post-it note kept blowing off his car apparently.

Great lies of our time: - Saddam Hussein has weapons of mass destruction - Bill Clinton did not have sexual relations with Monica Lewinsky - Bernie Madoff has a good investment opportunity for you - The cheque's in the post - I promise I'll pull out at the last minute, pet - The NUFC takeover will be over by the end of this week

I have nostalgic memories of Are you Being Served growing up. Along with Mike Yarwood, Morecambe & Wise, The 2 Ronnies, Summertime Special etc on evening telly. I never got the pussy gags at the time, mind.

This moved me to compose a small poem in memoriam: Alas dear Molly, dead and gone You were queen of the 70s sitcom Double meaning was your comedic stunt By pussy you meant your big fat family pet RIP

I find the current situation at the club hugely frustrating

RIP. In his honour I have composed a short ode So long then Karl Malden Star of the screen Award winning actor who has been In classic films but as it goes Goodness gracious what a nose

Michael Mouse. Michael Finn. Michael Mical Romance.

The tosser will still be described as 'Newcastle striker' until he joins someone else though.

Don't click on the link

Well it's their website I suppose. They do have an email option if you want to dispute their opinions.

what particular golden era are you talking about here - the 1960's, 70's, 80's, 90's or current era ? Or when we qualified regularly for europe........with one of the best teams in the country and bought top quality footballers and filled the stadium every week. Doesn't sound like a badly run club to me. If you mean the 1950's, we may have won 3 FA Cups but we still got relegated and the club was run by a bunch of twats who creamed off as much as they could. Further than that, you are looking at when we last won the league.... Who are you talking to, mate ? The entire quote is lifted from nufc.com. The clue is at the top of the post that says "From Nufc.com". Divvy. must be nufc.com then never look at it tbh........

I wonder how much we can save on his salary? Must be a bairn to take his place somewhere......

The academy then. There must be someone left in the academy

what particular golden era are you talking about here - the 1960's, 70's, 80's, 90's or current era ? Or when we qualified regularly for europe........with one of the best teams in the country and bought top quality footballers and filled the stadium every week. Doesn't sound like a badly run club to me. If you mean the 1950's, we may have won 3 FA Cups but we still got relegated and the club was run by a bunch of twats who creamed off as much as they could. Further than that, you are looking at when we last won the league.... Who are you talking to, mate ? The entire quote is lifted from nufc.com. The clue is at the top of the post that says "From Nufc.com". Divvy.

I assume it's all about saving costs because he's out of contract. Wouldn't be surprised if we don't sign a replacement at all, but promote someone from the reserves.

From Nufc.com: The BBC reported that a consortium were in "advanced talks over a £60m takeover" of the club via TV & online news updates on Monday, naming Freddy Shepherd as the lead figure and Alan Shearer as preferred manager. Informed sources on Tyneside are now giving credence to the story and suggesting that this Friday could finally see something solid break, bringing an end to the weeks of claims, whispers and half-truths over United's future. The price quoted seems ridiculous - has our stock really fallen that far? - but the story seems to have gathered pace after reported sightings of Shepherd and Shearer at the old La Sagesse school in Jesmond, recently bought by the former Chairman. The return of FS would surely be another backwards step if we're treated to more embarrassing "Geordie Nation" utterances, exclusive Sky interviews with Jim White, family members on the board, dubious agent involvement and local car dealer hangers-on back in the Director's Box. Mike Ashley & Co have been an unmitigated disaster but have we really been beaten into submission to the extent that the man who bought Albert Luque and Michael Owen (Graeme Souness insists he was a bystander in both deals) can walk straight back in? And we haven't even mentioned Toongate.... This club has been without competent management at all levels for decades and that needs to change. Now.

Well that's convinced me

No coffee this morning? Two already. Have some more. It'll protect you from Parkinsons. Or something It's been a bit of a slow day tbf at work. I'll I've had all day has been conference calls so far. That's the trouble with office life. People eat and drink incessantly cos they're bored. Before you know it you're up to double digit on cups of coffee and suffering withdrawal symptoms if you don't get a caffeine fix. I realised I was getting severely ratty at the weekends cos I wasn't drinking enough coffee during the day

Nothing speaks of the rebellion of youth better than a maths equation

No coffee this morning? Two already. Have some more. It'll protect you from Parkinsons. Or something

He's the only coach left pulling a wage. Everyone else has pissed off. What's scary is if the sale doesn't go through, how many players do you need to officially be able to field a team in the Championship? I'm considering putting a tenner on Butt as player/manager. Then he can sack Hughton and Calderwood and save a bit more money.