Kitman

It's pointless offering you advice, your libido will pull the plug on your brain anyway and it's only your sense of decency which will hold you back. I fear with your neck and hair fetish, you're doomed.

Ron Piddle more like. It's now totally acceptable to cane us, so if you're short of copy, just whizz out a load of old bollocks about deluded fans and stupid Geordies. Then you can stay in the pub all afternoon, with your silly haircut for company. Other clubs have done much worse than we have over the last 20 years. Every club has hopelessly over-optimistic fans. Every club wastes money on useless players. We've been spectacularly mismanaged and worse than many but it's the fans that have suffered for it. Liddle would do well not to bite the hand that feeds. Whilst he's falling over himself to point the finger and hoot at real football fans, attendances will continue to fall and the disillusionment will grow. My sense from what I read and hear from a distance is that people are drifting away from top flight football all over the country. Rather than being deluded, I expect people are realising what a rip off it is and how little they matter to the clubs, administrators and pundits. And gits like Liddle will be lamenting the lack of atmosphere and loyalty from the fans that people like him, Sky and the premier league did so much to alienate, as the whole damned party collapses in on itself.

I'm not confident at all. I look at that England batting line up and it could easily fail where the bowling is well thought out and disciplined. Strauss has to carry the captaincy. Cook is Gower-esque in wafting outside the off stump at any time between 0 and 60 runs. I don't think Bopara's had enough matches and his debut was a disaster. Pietersen looks out of form and like he needs a break to me. Collingwood is a mackem. Prior is more of a one day batsman imo. Flintoff lacks match practice. The one good thing is we can bat all the way down to Anderson. I'm not sure about the bowling either and I'd rather have Sidebottom ahead of Onions who's looked average to me in the few matches I've seen him in. Broad is decent, Anderson is inconsistent, Flintoff is returning from injury. However I think we'll lack penetration if Broad and Anderson are off colour and I wonder how much Flintoff can bowl. Could easily turn to custard if Aussie have their shizzle together.

Best wishes

Thats probably because United fans* dont see him as a big player in fairness. And why should they? 4 years with us and he has the aura of a has been.

Pitifully poor

I'm sure we could let Man Utd have Nicky Butt too if they asked us nicely

Be interesting to see how many games his fragile body can manage next season

Shit. Probably means Barton was lighting cigars( with £20 notes), Ameobi was practicing his tennis and Taylor was on the beers. Malaysians: "When do the players get here?" Satay!!! You have Sideshow Bob! We love Sideshow Bob! Lambrusco: πότε οι φορείς παίρνουν εδώ;

One helluva balloon to lift his bloated carcass off the planet

Like watching Lost. I never bothered with Lost. Life's too short and all that

Shit. Probably means Barton was lighting cigars( with £20 notes), Ameobi was practicing his tennis and Taylor was on the beers. Malaysians: "When do the players get here?" Satay!!! You have Sideshow Bob! We love Sideshow Bob!

Shit. Probably means Barton was lighting cigars( with £20 notes), Ameobi was practicing his tennis and Taylor was on the beers. Malaysians: "When do the players get here?"

Personally I find all of the characters unlikeable. I spent most of the episodes I watched hoping they'd get killed.

"That's the lampost they threatened to hang me from after the Keegan fiasco." That LLambias tour in full: 10 am. Training ground. Comments by Llambias: "Yes, we own this land. You could sell it off for housing." "Those are the players over there. Don't worry they'll all be gone by August. Except that bald ginger fella, he'll be the manager. " 10 am. St James's Park. Comments by Llambias: "Unfortunately we don't own the land. You can't sell it off for housing." "See that car park over there? I reckon you could build a nice casino on there if you could get a licence. Or maybe some houses." "And hey, look! Some poor bastard is getting his car taken away! ....wait a minute.... Oi! Bring my fucking car back here!" "Running the football side of things is easy. The punters turn up every week regardless. It's just like running a casino." "There's plenty of office space here, there are no employees or anything like that. You could lease the surplus space and make a bit of money. Or start a casino, if you can get a licence." "Right that concludes the tour. Anyone for lunch? You fellas probably fancy a chinky, eh?" You missed a bit

Sailor Jerry Rum. Sounds like cockney rhyming slang to me.

Good deal for him if true. Not that I give a toss really.

"That's the lampost they threatened to hang me from after the Keegan fiasco." That LLambias tour in full: 10 am. Training ground. Comments by Llambias: "Yes, we own this land. You could sell it off for housing." "Those are the players over there. Don't worry they'll all be gone by August. Except that bald ginger fella, he'll be the manager. " 10 am. St James's Park. Comments by Llambias: "Unfortunately we don't own the land. You can't sell it off for housing." "See that car park over there? I reckon you could build a nice casino on there if you could get a licence. Or maybe some houses." "Running the football side of things is easy. The punters turn up every week regardless. It's just like running a casino." "There's plenty of office space here, there are no employees or anything like that. You could lease the surplus space and make a bit of money. Or start a casino, if you can get a licence." "Right that concludes the tour. Anyone for lunch? You fellas probably fancy a chinky, eh?"

They probably heard we play on a Satay-day and saw an opportunity

Why thank you

imo it's getting to the point where it doesn't matter who takes over the club, the season will be a write-off anyway. This whole thing is typical of the idiots who've wrecked our club; all we need to complete the picture is for the club to be taken off the market and a press release from Ashley saying he's now committed to taking the club 'forward'. Again.

They had to do it by letter in the end. The post-it note kept blowing off his car apparently.

Great lies of our time: - Saddam Hussein has weapons of mass destruction - Bill Clinton did not have sexual relations with Monica Lewinsky - Bernie Madoff has a good investment opportunity for you - The cheque's in the post - I promise I'll pull out at the last minute, pet - The NUFC takeover will be over by the end of this week

I have nostalgic memories of Are you Being Served growing up. Along with Mike Yarwood, Morecambe & Wise, The 2 Ronnies, Summertime Special etc on evening telly. I never got the pussy gags at the time, mind.

This moved me to compose a small poem in memoriam: Alas dear Molly, dead and gone You were queen of the 70s sitcom Double meaning was your comedic stunt By pussy you meant your big fat family pet RIP