Kitman

I'm guessing he'll do the usual Aussie trick of pretending it didn't happen. I'm seriously expecting it won't be reported on Aussie Sky news. Of course, if their fortunes improve Ken will be back like a shot, as if he'd never gone Kitman who do you prefer Aussies or English and why? I prefer the English. Because I'm an Englishman tbh I don't have a problem with Aussies, they seem to export the worst ones to England. I do a lot of business with the Aussies and they're good craic by and large. As a nation they're obsessed with sport in an East German type of way but I don't think there's anything wrong with that.

Yeah, a friend of mine was saying Ashley will probably wait till as late as possible, flog everyone possible, pocket the money and leave no time to buy any new players! Probably take the toilet paper with him as well. I expect they've been on the grease proof paper for months now

I'm guessing he'll do the usual Aussie trick of pretending it didn't happen. I'm seriously expecting it won't be reported on Aussie Sky news. Of course, if their fortunes improve Ken will be back like a shot, as if he'd never gone

Outstanding post Sandman, inspirational stuff. So you kept one nut expecting to lose both, or did I read that wrong?

ENGLAND WIN BY 115 RUNS! Johnson bowled Swann.

Flintoff continues. Kitman talks to himself on Toontastic.

That was probably the last bowl of his hour and a half spell too. Umpire no-balled the previous ball. 26 overs 5-82. Brilliant stuff Freddy. Last man in for the Aussies.

Siddle bowled Freddy. Five wicket haul!

Hauritz bowled Freddy! 8 down, the bell is tolling....

You missed off the next bit: "And for that reason we will be climbing aboard our battleship and we will bombard Calais just like the good old days. We did not let the Argies intimidate us and we will not let the Brussels mussel munching leeches steal everything that makes this country great. We may have the body of a woman but we have the heart and brain of a lion. Wish us luck gentlemen." It's a shame that word has gone from common usage. I reckon we could take Spain and Belgium without too much kerfuffle. The Faroe Islands could take Belgium

Clark goes! Into the tail proper now.

Lest one forget it was these old crunchies that held back the worst excesses of Thatcherism. I would leave the Lords completely untouched and perhaps increase their powers to hold back/delay bad legislation. Yes, because geriatric deranged old etonian in-bred syphilitic bastards with nothing better to do but sleep all day in the Lords are the guardians of democracy. Give it to the celebrities, at least they've earned it with raw talent. I doubt an aristo could hold down a bit part on Hollioaks. 3 out of 4 asleep in the back row.... A resonable response to the daily boredom of politics.. See, you wouldn't get that with the youthful vigour of a Tony Blackburn 'Kid' Jensen ftw. Kid Jensen

You missed off the next bit: "And for that reason we will be climbing aboard our battleship and we will bombard Calais just like the good old days. We did not let the Argies intimidate us and we will not let the Brussels mussel munching leeches steal everything that makes this country great. We may have the body of a woman but we have the heart and brain of a lion. Wish us luck gentlemen."

Lest one forget it was these old crunchies that held back the worst excesses of Thatcherism. I would leave the Lords completely untouched and perhaps increase their powers to hold back/delay bad legislation. Yes, because geriatric deranged old etonian in-bred syphilitic bastards with nothing better to do but sleep all day in the Lords are the guardians of democracy. Give it to the celebrities, at least they've earned it with raw talent. I doubt an aristo could hold down a bit part on Hollioaks. 3 out of 4 asleep in the back row.... A resonable response to the daily boredom of politics.. See, you wouldn't get that with the youthful vigour of a Tony Blackburn

Lest one forget it was these old crunchies that held back the worst excesses of Thatcherism. I would leave the Lords completely untouched and perhaps increase their powers to hold back/delay bad legislation. Yes, because geriatric deranged old etonian in-bred syphilitic bastards with nothing better to do but sleep all day in the Lords are the guardians of democracy. Give it to the celebrities, at least they've earned it with raw talent. I doubt an aristo could hold down a bit part on Hollioaks.

It should go to celebrities when they're out of work. It could be offered as the runner up prize on 'I'm a Celebrity Get me Outta Here'. Celebrities are the new aristocracy after all.

Whatever. Ex-Newcastle striker.

The biggest mistake of my entire life was not going to that RADA audition after memorising all the Shakespeare and shit. Is this about you Parky ? It all makes sense now......

I'm mystified what services Doug Hall might think he's provided. He got an exorbitant salary, presumably paid to some offshore tax haven, he seemed to me to do bugger all to earn it and generally presided over the decline of the club. What was his area of expertise? Sacking & appointing managers? Being related to the majority shareholder? Or was it the negotiation of image rights? I hope Fatty tells him to do one.

Good for you, get stuck in and give it a go. Hope it works out for you.

Based on the Windies tests, where we were very conservative on declarations despite being 1-0 down, I think England will go in this morning and swing the willow for an hour or so to get to 600 a la Smoggeordie. It also dovetails nicely with Freddy Flintoff's farewell to test cricket if he peppers a few to the boundary at Lords and makes a 50. Personally I would have made Australia follow on. They've hardly ever followed on so it would have been both humiliating and added huge pressure. We've got plenty of runs so I agree we should declare overnight and get into them.

Ex-Newcastle striker tbh. Interesting to see his ligament injury playing for England vs Sweden was nothing to do with him.

That's a cracking summary of Ashley's ownership. The wrting was on the wall after the January transfer window.

I predict a new signing

I think a lot of people feel sorry for us now tbh