Kitman

Wouldn't it be great if we signed Pieters or Cissokho as well? I realise it won't happen.

I realise I'm a day or two late here but fuck me Best's finish for the second was good

Yes. I can see gangstaman getting convicted of GBH and having his contract cancelled. Don't see the point of Lovenkrands really.

Geddin. Now sign on the dotted line goddamit

Is this just Twitter boleks though? Get over there in your cab, man, have a look

7 million reasons to be dubious......

I for one would be delighted and excited if we sign this lad, despite knowing nothing about him and never having seen him play. Or indeed looked at his statistics. He's young, he's French and he plays for Sochaux. That's good enough for me! OK, Monsieur Le Sapin de Noel?

You've made a miele of that

Bolek tbf. Check your facts before you look like a right knacker. I admit I dropped the ball

Still can't believe we might sign a GK called Bollock

Our previous signings from Inter were Pistone, Emre and Obafemi Martins. The portents are favourable then

Didn't she front Miami Sound Machine?

We've only had since last January to find a decent striker. You can't rush these things. I honestly think Llambias looks at the squad and says, corblimey look at all the strikers we've got - Best, Lovenkrands, Ameobi, Ranger, Ba - don't know why we need to sign another one, I'm not Harry fucking Redknapp you know. And because most of the strikers we do have are utterly shit, no one will take them off our hands so it's catch 22.

He's like a "new signing" so we don't need a LB and with Best scoring two when he was out of favour he'll be like a new signing too, so we don't really need to buy a striker either! With 2 new signings the squad will be too big......we'll need to sell someone on big wages

Have a good 'un

If we sign him, Pardoo will be dropping a bolek all the time

I wonder if the club are using the same website?

I heard she wanted a four year deal

No doubt the back up plan is in full swing now. Looking forward to a fair few signings over the next 3 days.

Great artist, strange voice

I clearly remember her first hit on TOTP, she was beautiful "But I do know.......Mandinka-aaah" Now she'd be singing "But I do know.......kebab and chips" The years have not been kind. She looks like a fat bloke in a wig these days.

Are you stupid or something? DEPORT HIM! DEPORT HIM NOW!

Disappointed tbh. Was hoping for Ironsides to add much needed steel to our defence and Hercule Poirot for his cultured feet. We'll probably ever get Kojak anyway (why would he come here?), it's more likely we'll sign Miss Marple at the last minute as a consolation.

Side effects include... Dizziness, Fatigue, Mood Swings, Shola Ameobi, Muscular Cramping. That's a good point. Has Shola been observing Ramadan permanently for the last 12 years?

Fasting from sunrise to sunset must have an effect on energy levels. Cheese savoury stottie would sort it.