Kitman

I'm guessing no black cats voted for the nickname

At that point you plant stories in the press about his unreasonable demands, alleged drug taking and links with mafia crime lords. You don't fuck with Lake Bell Titis, homie

I hope you told him to fuck off, bloody mercenary

Scott Parker.

I find this hard to believe. Are you......?

I suspect there's more chance of Gemmill joining me in NZ for a BBQ but there you go

* Sigh * Regarding the knee, I expect the club will have insurance. Regarding resale issue, I haven't seen the so-called clause confirmed anywhere except Harry Redknapp's gob. Even if he were to leave for 7 mill, we'd be getting back the signing on cost and that's the point....we're not pissing money down the drain by signing players on exorbitant fees and wages which we will never get back, so we have to write off their entire transfer fee. It's quite a simple point but it's bed time for me so you can debate it with someone else. Since Dempsey wouldn't be a free transfer, it's a moot point anyway. Not that I don't think he's a decent player....but he's not the sort we go for these days.

I'd do it if I could. I can't stand Ashley, but fuck you'd want to see that team next season

Because it's wrong, that's why. You're speculating his knee was an issue at the time he came to us and therefore it was a gamble. I don't think that's right, nobody gambles in that way, the club will have done their homework and a through medical, given the knee issue was known. Plus he was 26 years old at the time. We could sell him when he was 29, to some mug club run by a Norwegian who's happy to pay a fortune in transfer fees and wages to someone who's peaked

No. Firstly he's not 29 like Dempsey, he was 26 and one month when he signed for us. Secondly you're completely overplaying the knee issue. It was an issue for Stoke City when they pulled out of signing him. It wasn't an issue for West Ham and it wasn't an issue for us further down the track, that's 2 premier league clubs where he passed medicals. He also played half a season in the PL for WHU wiht no problems iirc. You're basically just making it up. Thirdly he didn't come "cheap"....iirc the club alluded that he wasn't a free transfer in the sense that we had to pay signing on fees, agents fees etc....however he did represent value as he was a proven goal scorer, had settled into the PL and could be prised away from WHU for no transfer fee. I think you're confusing cheap with value. The club will pay for value, and that means the quality of the player, the cost of hiring him including fees and wages and what they'll get back for him. I don't see what you're getting at with your last paragraph but I'm not arsed really as it has nothing to do with what we're talking about ie the club won't sign players knocking on the door of 30 as they don't represent good value

Tannoy: "And let's salute our team, who've topped off a fantastic season by qualifying for the Champion's League!!!" BOOOOOO! BOOOOO! YOU WANKERS! BOOOO! YOU COULD'VE HAD THIRD!!!!! BOOOOO!

Bullshit. He was just 26 when he signed for us. He passed his medical. He had half a season of PL football under his belt and suffered no ill effects. Plus Pardew has lots of contacts with West Ham, and I bet the club did a load of due diligence on him too before they signed. No resale value? Bullshit, sir, bullshit

Sorry but no. The club has said time and again their aim is to sign young players with a sell on value, not players in their prime who demand top dollar and whose sell on value will be negligible. My free transfer comment was slightly tongue in cheek but you have to pay signing on fees and bigger wages so I think the point still stands. The only player in the region of 30 I can recall us signing recently is Colo, and he's our club captain and an absolutely pivotal player

I'm talking about the club's well documented transfer policy. What's the point of advocating a transfer that has no chance of happening? He doesn't fit the profile even if he was on a free transfer.....

Owen is the very epitome of a couldn't-give-a-shit mercenary to me. We broke the fucking bank to sign that wanker and he gave nothing back. He made it very clear we were beneath him and yet he was happy to take his exorbitant wages for sitting on the treatment table for most of his time with us. Shepherd mortgaged the club to get him and he repaid him by being a waste of space. I hope his beloved horses gang rape the fucker.

His age make Dempsey is a non starter. The club's said time and again they won't buy players with fuck all resale value

Good header but he was under no pressure at all

Everton 1-0 against Man Utd at Old Trafford after 35 mins.

It's a conspiracy! #Parky

Bet needs paying out on

Is he moaning though? I doubt he's put Pardew up to it

Probably needs someone who knows little about football, and is happy to do without due diligence

Surely there's a difference between a customer and a shareholder/bondholder?

Who knows what Ashley will do, he's a maverick.