Ayatollah Hermione

Not sure how the shit-munching aspect of our support can enjoy this now that Almiron and Longstaff have come on

Would genuinely sub Schar off for that. Absolutely criminal behaviour

Fabian Schar, you fucking clown. Very, very lucky

Much much better up to now. Far better on the ball and sharper. Scored at a good time. I’d like to see Miley get some proper minutes now

Adam Armstrong HAULED OFF IN DISGRACE 😍

On a free transfer in the summer. Wouldn’t surprise me to see us sniffing about if Trippier and Targett go since he can play both sides

Good job these are shite because we’ve been pretty crap here IMO. Sloppy on the ball, a bit passive and unable to stay onside to save our life. You could argue we don’t have to be great to beat them but I’d be getting a rocket up them. Only one goal in it

I count three fouls. The step across, the Mortal Kombat leg sweep and then a handball for good measure. “Where is the contact?” Indeed

Good tackle that according to the London Blind Squad on commentary

Truly shocking defending. Here we go

He should be alright for getting deported then. Can’t get to Mars without the staff

Never mind that shite, LB. Are you lot going to let us win down there for once in a couple of weeks? Arsenal were kind enough, just you and Liverpool to go now

Lads, we’re definitely making hard work of this one Though hopefully our humbling last week gives us a bit of a kick up the arse

You’re right but it was all in Keegan’s delivery. Howe is a lot more restrained and considered in public. He’s obviously different in the changing room, like since the way we fly out of the traps in some games is absolutely Keegan-esque

I watched Early Doors again and it really is a treasure. I love how the first episode is pretty much just establishing the characters. Not a chance the BBC would allow for that sort of patient writing anymore

I’m telling you, lads. Get yourself into a Plexshare/EmbyShare off Reddit, close the curtains and just binge yourself into oblivion while you wait to be conscripted in whatever conflict is coming

If it actually does stop them rebuilding for the 100th time post Ferguson, you’ll sharp see things change with PSR. Unfortunately, they’ll just flog Rashford to Saudi for 100 million and they’re laughing. Until they inevitably fuck it up again and we have this conversation in 3 years

Actually got knocked about a bit by a big blast of wind on the way back from graft there Honestly thought that only happened to pensioners and weak bodied women

Think the bags of cat shit that I accidentally left by the back door might be scattered on the wind like a dead man’s ashes, like but that’s a problem for someone else

Only brave men put the bin out last night. Right now, as per the Ring doorbell, it was emptied at 7:30 AM and has been brought by the side gate by the neighbour with no damage present. Another roaring success

Make sure the chopped up body of whatever poor victim is next doesn’t get blasted across the plains

I’m living next to some construction atm so not looking forward to the potential tornado of bricks and cement mixers that could be coming

I’m no pro scout but I am surprised nobody has been in for Morgan Whittaker from Plymouth yet. Every time I’ve seen him, he looks good and able to make the step up. Maybe a bit older than people would like at 24 but there’s definite value in The Championship. Obviously priced out of Sunderland’s world class talents but elsewhere

Classic Yorkshireman