Ayatollah Hermione

Nowt until the last week of August.

He had an Arrested Development DVD so he's the instant winner.

sum1 ??????? Ahh you mean SOMEONE. I fucking hate text speak. typing by mongs tbh omfg1!!1 total LOLZ!!11one11!!! i htZ thT 2 stfu n00b

I'd take Collocini just for his hair. We've been lacking a crazy 'do since Pattison shaved all his wool off.

Tuesday on E4. And I can't say you missed much.

When he does something somewhat successful in his job, I'll listen. He just sounds like a prat trying to rekindle an old argument to appease the mackems who are still "OMG SHEARER BOO"

Christ, did they shit in your bag before they did it? It's only a message board.

Newcastle. Back in the real world though, Man Utd. And they fully deserve it as well.

Big fucking 'might'.

You could say the same about football tbh. Football is real. Lies. Bramble's been acting as a footballer for years now.

Saw Andy Carroll just last night in the Metro Centre. Once saw Acuna buying Tesco Beans which must have cost about 4p. Saw Dabizas looking at wedding dresses (or something similar) in the town.

I think it's the ball; Commentators mentioned something today about the new ball when Given parried a Defoe long-ranger. I've even seen a few centre-backs give it a welly because if you strike it right, it seems to fly.

Oh, I know but I'm just saying that Chimbonda is a right klimp. It just looked like he was stroking Butt's stubble.

It was barely a slap tbh.

This tastes delicious.

OH MY FUCKING GOSH

Of all the players to fucking score.

Disgrace. The decision and Redknapp.

Steve Bennett has always been a dickhead though. Not only is he a bad referee but his arrogance always seems to come through when he's talking to players.

And Tom 'Hulk Hogan' Huddlestone can piss off as well. He may as well have give Le Sib an elbow drop to compliment the takedown when Huntington scored.

Who the fuck does Chimbonda think he is? I'd rip them shitty dreadlocks off him and shove them up his arrogant arse. And Berbatov as well, the little bug-eyed shit. If we win today, it'll be extra sweet.

Don't be such a spaz. People might get offended by that you fucking mong! Shut up, man, the mongs'll be all over you.

Word going round near me is that the unveiling today is going to be Leighton Baines. No news stories so I'm assuming it's bollocks. Would take him though.

He couldn't be that thick without a couple of heavy blows to the head.