Ayatollah Hermione

He gets the stick because he's played 100 Premier League games and has appeared to have learned the square root of bollocks all, thinks he's better than he is and applauds the fans after each game to convince some people that he's not a useless centre-half. The amount of times he loses his man and you find him on the goal line trying to block a shot or bollocking someone else for his mistakes to amazing.

Especially the skin piercing ones thats not even funny. you wont be laughing if one day it happens to you What if a clown does it to you?

Guessing Adriano might be coming here is a bit of leap from those comments. as I said, it was just a guess and most probably a load of bollocks =) just trying to think who this 'wow' signing could be Aye, I know. I'd like to think there's a "WOW" signing coming along as well, obviously, but I can't see it.

Agreed. All looking a bit threadbare if two of them pick up injuries. Didn't Keegan say he had a replacement lined up when asked about Faye's departure?

Craig Gordon certainly isn't a better keeper than Robert Green IMO. And Green doesn't get close to the England squad for whatever reason.

I'd have Jones here like. So would I but sssh If he can be a part of the best Premiership striking duo outside of the top 4 on crutches, he can do everything else.

aye, he looks chock full of ITK info from that quote like.

Just sent in an e-mail to SSN and, don't tell them, but I'm shitting it. I'm not sure how our £10 million rated Argentinian international of a centre-half will be able to cope with the dynamic movement and explosive style of Cisse and the unmatched aerial ability and strength of Jones.

Aye, they're a brilliant live band. Went to see them when they were touring the first album and they got a 90 minute+ show out of one album and a couple of B-sides. Excellent show. And Field Music were the support. Doesn't get much better.

Keegler

Who gives a shit if that's what they print? We got the point, job done.

Great result. Over the moon. Spidey is going to be fantastic for us this year. Guthrie looked nice and tidy and Coloccini quickly adapted and settled well. Duff wasn't great but no time to nitpick. A few more signings by the end of the window and we're laughing iyam. Hope we have a similar performance at the Emirates.

Really? I'm shitting myself but still excited for it. Roll on a pleasant surprise then.

So, massive, people double account to talk about us.

Reminds me of a top tip in the Viz which was something like "MAN UNITED FANS: Rather than shell out for a brand new replica football shirt, simply paint a penis on your forehead. That way, the team you support will be clear and you'll save some money"

I'm going for 5-0 to us personally.

Disappointed if Faye leaves like as he was generally solid last season. I'm hoping he has a replacement in mind then unless he's going to use one of the younger players as cover.

God, there's a conundrum. Who would you rather have back? Luque or Boumsong?

Aye and useful with a light sabre if Star Wars is to be believed. Let's not stretch belief.

Canny nifty with a weapon like if Pulp Fiction is to believed.

I eagerly await Damien Duff's return to the first team after his successful pre-season campaign. I especially look forward to seeing his awkward side-shuffle on the ball before losing it right outside their penalty box all over again.

I was going to pick apart that bollocks but then I realised I'd be here all day.

I'd like to think we could get a result but that's just excitement and optimism for the new season, I think though. No Rooney or Ronaldo is a plus but it's not like they don't have other players to punish us. A cheeky early Owen goal though and it'll all get a bit interesting. Or they'll kick it up a notch and wallop us 4-1.

Toon Army 08 4 EVA