Ayatollah Hermione

West Brom's insistence to try and play like Arsenal with a team full of cloggers will be their undoing. Stoke can't run off Delap's throws forever despite it getting them critical points. As for the third place, I'd honestly say that there's about 6 or 7 teams that could realistically drop this year if they got on a bad run, us included in that.

I can't wait to see the flair that Cacapa/Butt brings to the table.

Aye, it's depressing whenever one of our central midfielders is on the ball, looks around to see fuck all and has to knock it back to the defence. It's everytime we try and get forward as well.

Appiah would be a quality signing but can't see him coming here. Hasn't Wenger been sniffing around him before?

With us at the moment, it's not so much a low point that I hate, it's the feeling of never being comfortable at any point watching the useless bastards. You can tell a mistake is always a minute away and that makes watching the match horrid.

Right, since the Wigan thread has devolved into the old Owen/Martins argument, let's all talk about our favourite (not-so-much-right-now) England star. Personally, I love Owen. When he's played, he's been nothing short of the striker we need him to be; his goal record is great and they've dragged us out of the shit so often, it's shocking. While I think we overpaid for him, I can't stand when the circumstances that are out of his control, like the transfer fee, get held as some sort of criticism toward Michael Owen as the player, as the lead goalscorer. The fact we payed £17 million should not detract from the fact that he's, by far and away, the best striker we have and without him, we'd have thrown away a lot more points than we've gained because of him.

I don't buy Guthrie and Barton being stronger than Butt and Barton as well. Guthrie is tidy enough but only seems to be in the game for an hour or so before dissappearing.

Fucking hell , it's the midfield's fault that Martins is as thick as shit now? If they had some composure and positioning, I'm sure Martins would turn into Beardsley.

Also, it's all well and good saying "passing" but we pass the ball; it's just sidewards. We need someone (and we have for years) to sit in the midfield and unlock the defence with some killer passes and I don't think a player like N'Zogbia is the answer to those problems in midfield at all. Yes, he runs at defences but he usually ends up in alleyways and his final ball is to be desired. Barton is a canny player but I don't think he's the man who can create consistently and it's obviously not Butt or Guthrie's jobs to do that in the midfield. Guti in the middle is an option but I'd say (couple of poor games withstanding) that he's a far stronger option on the flanks than either Duff or N'Zogbia right now considering he seems to be able to get past players well.

What's the obsession with Martins btw? Because he does a couple of flips and has scored some canny goals? He's utterly hopeless at everything he's supposed to be. He's supposed to be this striker who terrorises defences and gets in behind them with his pace, except he's utterly shit at that because he hasn't got the footballing brain he needs to read the game well enough. He's like the world's shittest Terry Henry.

I say we'd have to appoint you as manager. Harping on about anticipation is all well and good but if Martins isn't any good at it now, he never will be. Passing THAT'S what we need!

He should have used his black card to get out of charges. Sorry, his African-American Express.

Quite fitting iyam.

You say that as if we're proud of the sterling journalism of Mr. Oliver.

Same reason you kept the slightly daft kid in your group of mates at school? Someone to laugh at?

Zaki to score 25.

Is this in order? If so, the notion of Pennant being more highly rated than Kaka tickles me.

There's not half a chance our current lot is anywhere near as good as Robson's side, man. Solano alone was probably a better player half the cloggers in our midfield now and that's before mentioning Robert on a good day and Speed. Shearer and Bellamy was a much more effective partnership than Owen+ another too.

Used to play it all the time with me dad and had some quality matches. They'd usually go well into extra time too. I think I used to pretend one of them was Baggio (the Italian starlet, not the contrary poster) and he'd always get to shoot. Got fingers like a jazz pianist now thanks to it as well.

www.xbox360achievements.org

Cacapa is so shit, he makes me wish Taylor was playing. Fulham are terrible like which makes it even more piss-boiling that we gift-wrapped their goals.

This is like playing Rambo in space. It's amazing.

Fuck Giant Radscorpions as well. Jesus Christ.

Sir Les is not deadwood, you triffid. He is a fine fine man.

They're quality. Way better than 4 and a half stars like. Defence is like a rock, Totti is mint, Vucinic is a bit of a donkey but he usually ends up tapping things in, bless him. Most people have cottoned on to them now though. Except that one bloke who played me as Fulham. And nearly won.