Ayatollah Hermione

I expect Geremi to come on at some point. Just because it's that kind of day where things are obviously going to go wrong.

Can't say I'm excited. More the opposite tbh. It'll probably change when it's nearing kick-off like.

Literally can't fathom any optimism right now. There's not a single bright spark with this club.

I cannot comprehend the mind of anyone who thinks this shit is true.

It was always going to happen but it's a kick in the balls regardless. I'm amazed at the sheer lack of depth in the defense, it's pathetic. We have, what, 2 centre halfs and no natural right back. We're going to leak goals again this year.

I'm sure this Seymour Pierce conspiracy would be true if the world worked the way it does in Parky's head.

The chances of a takover coming from Moat were a million to one, they said.

When we play all those teams who play in bright yellow probably.

Drink for 4 days. If you survive, you're ready to start anew.

Happy Birthday. Have a good one.

We do?

While £8 or £10 million would ordinarily be good business, we'll not see any of the money spent on the squad and he won't be replaced.

You say that but Hughton took the training while Kinnear hid in his office anyway. The fact that happened and they still (if this is true - I can believe it like) want him back shows an incredible level incompetence upstairs. Draws are better than losses accompained with a Woolies clipboard. I know he had a better record, I'd just suggest that was a bit of a fluke as he was doing absolutely fuck all. In any case neither should be considered as candidates. But (it would appear) both are. Probably the only two candidates.

Joined

Fucking hell, man, I wouldn't put it past Kinnear either like. He's a loose cannon. You're off the case, Joe!

I have a horrifying vision of the future. It's November, we're bottom of the Championship, we're told that the club will be sold by New Year's Eve, probably and they call a press conference. Everyone is on the edge of their seats; is it Shearer? Is it a takeover? Armchair Penis just wants his name back, truth be told, but everyone else is anxious to hear the latest news. Optimism that once flittered through the air is popped like one of Luke Chadwick's spots; Joe Kinnear walks through the door, announces he is the new manager of Newcastle United on a lifetime contract, punches a journalist and immediately loses 8-0 to Coventry. Also, if we're in a position to go offering people jobs, why not Shearer when he's obviously desparate to have it.

Great. On one hand, this means we're fucked but on the other hand, this means we're fucked. I can't say I wasn't expecting it after the imaginary attempt to sell the club but it's a kick in the bollocks that it's actually happened.

No Marcelino?

Fantastic. Essentially confirming our better players will leave (which we knew tbf) and nobody will come in.

I'd advise COD4 over GOW 1. Not because one is better than the other but because GOW1's playerbase is pretty much made up of people that have been playing the thing since launch and the difficulty curve will be steep and could probably get frustrating quickly. COD4 is a game that's perfect for dipping in, having 20 minutes of game time and finding people that are new to the game too. Not many arcade games have large user-bases anymore but the new Battlefield game might be busy for a while and it's supposed to be good. Burnout Paradise is always busy online and is probably the best arcade racer on the console if you're in to those types of games. But really, get a mate, both of you buy Saint's Row 2 and play that together. You'll enjoy every second. There's really nothing like running through a shopping mall naked with a samurai sword, chopping up Barbershop Quartets, stealing a quadbike, stopping to get an afro and bouncing out of the place with Culture Club in the background.

Always Sunny in Philadelphia Your kitten giving you trouble? Try Kitten Mittens!

You've got a way with words, my friend.