Ayatollah Hermione

Only thing that made me laugh was the Woolworths stuff. And the Joy Division thing was quite funny in its absurdity. Vast majority of it done nowt to convince me that he's actually funny.

So, why's this glakey twat sticking the boot in now?

Bollocks to this, does he have a crepe shop or not?

Unless he comes with boots that turn him into Christ, no.

I think it does ! it falls to the ground in front of him at the very end. Fuck me, it does! I thought that was the hammer part of the sledgehammer. That's getting saved to the computer.

The only way that could be funnier is if his hat flew off as well.

So, that bloke's dead, right? What a way to go

Your mum, for one.

Marlon Harewood. I don't know why though.

Being good at it's the hard part. Pretty much. You can write and write and write and improve but if you're not any good to start with, it'll never be published. I'd say just get it down on paper and then, maybe someone else here can help you with the specifics. Even if it doesn't get anywhere, you'll have fulfilled an ambition of writing it.

bates will probably kill us, already damaged us, we hate him. but least we got our history Which pales in comparison with the real Lilywhites. I'm all up for you giving these lads a bit of a pasting but to be fair your efforts so far have been just short of embarrassing.

In between endless fucking nattering.

You'd have to be careful with which ones you picked mind Gemmill and Ant IMO. Then have Stevie doing the half-time team talks. We'd shit the lot of it.

He wants to pack it in. Managing this club isn't advisable for a healthy man, never mind one that's just had trouble with his heart.

You could have taken a few posters off here, whacked them in the dugout for this season and we'd have more points.

My connection has a tendency to cut out whenever I use it. Probably my internet rather than the program like.

That has to be from The Viz or something, man. Surely? It's definately tragic for the kids, like.

Exactly. He hasn't set the world on fire either like but he's quite obviously a much stronger player than the Damien Duff of 2009. Plus, his work in our third of the pitch has been fantastic all season. The criticism is dead on for him sometimes but there's much more pressing concerns to the team at the minute.

So, we signed him so he couldn't score against us, I assume. Because he's shit at everything else.

Absolute clueless horseshit wummery. As for the deal with the ulterior motive, it seems too unbelieveable to be true but at some point, you have to think that people running a football club in the biggest league in the world can be so utterly useless at their job. This goes far beyond Keegan leaving and the shambolic nature of that to how poorly everything has been run since then; PR, transfer window etc.

Issue 666

In the stars for Barca/Man United really. At least, I hope so. If I have to see another Premier League match in the Champions League, I might cry.

£9.50 for a day ticket which is a perfectly fair price considering I'll be seeing about 4 or 5 bands.

Anyone going to any days? I'm going on the Monday. Ladyhawke, Friendly Fires and Dizzee Rascal will all be getting a watch from me. Currently checking MySpace to see if the rest of the bands are up to much. Marina and the Diamonds are pretty fun so I'll use them to kick off the day nicely. Also, The Week That Was are playing a free gig at the Ouseburn Art Work Galleries on the 22nd.

Nothing sums up Boro better than when you enter it from the A19. There's a sign saying "Middlesbrough: Moving Forward" right next to a speed limit sign that reads "30"