Ayatollah Hermione

Jagielka as replacement in the 30? If you can do that like.

All I can think of whenever I hear Alan Johnson.

Was it Danquah or Baheng with the rap album? We obviously can't have all dem bitches and ho's around the training ground.

We're third favourites because we've got a good team tbh.

Hughton keeps us up this season and it will be a miracle. He's going to have to get a LOT out of a poor crop of players. On one side, it's nice that they're being up front about how fucking stupid they're going to be. On another, it's depressing that they're being up front about how fucking stupid they're going to be.

Smug, horrible wanker of a man. Like Stevie says, it's always the blame laid at someone else's door with him.

Also, true to my word; bullshit.

Because when I think of The Tories, I think of a stable government

Brown's making his statement for anyone who wants to waste time at work.

I will make a statement at 1445 BST which declares the lot of it bullshit.

Interesting game, clearly.

Literally everyone I've spoke to who is voting for the Tories has given me an answer about immigrants and that's it. I don't think the majority of people are aware of what they're like.

He's not very good then, is he?

STING has £180 million?!

Just waiting for Stevie to touchdown in here.

Peter Molyneux is nothing if not a good hype man. He sold me on Fable 2 and it was fucking shit. Nothing says interesting gameplay like farting to attract brides and breaking the game by overpowering one spell and hammering it until everything falls down. I'm excited for this though.

On the side of it?

Too young to remember the last one so this was fantastic to see for me personally. Second goal was a beauty and it's a shame that Best didn't break his duck at the end.

That my friend is what we call a shite one. In other news, everyone laughed at peter griffin for buying volcano insurance, who's laughing now? Certainly not anyone watching Family Guy.

PANIC

All I got from Cameron's bits was that he met a black person once.

Then We Came to The End - Joshua Ferris Very good comedy debut by an American writer about the lives of a group of office workers as they cope with lay-offs, odd jobs and each other. It's very understated and a lot of the comedy comes from the little idiosyncracies that pop up in these relatively normal people. I got it for a quid in a charity shop so it's been a bargain really.

We're never going to win playing with 10 men